Week Thirteen in Review

In what was almost certainly the most exciting Packers play in my lifetime that I didn’t watch, Aaron Rodgers completed his first ever successful Hail Mary. Richard Rodgers looked like an NBA center, boxing out the classically helpless Detroit defenders, ripping Lions fans’ hearts out with a squeaky clean catch. He turned around to face the defenders while the ball was in the air, and whether he planned it or not, I think it caused the defenders to focus their attention elsewhere. The throw was something else, sailing about 70 yards and a fucking mile in the air. Most professional QBs cannot make that throw; the list probably includes Aaron Rodgers, Joe Flacco, Jay Cutler, and that fat rapist out in Pittsburgh. It’s some measure of vindication for the Fail Mary in Seattle, even McCarthy couldn't hold back in his press conference. Road wins against divisional opponents are season changers, which makes the theatrics all the more impactful. We are now 8-4, poised to retake the division lead, two wins away from the magic nearly-always-playoff-guaranteeing-number 10, and headed back home to face a reeling Dallas squad. All that being said, I want to hear from whoever out there can honestly say they feel good about this team right now. I didn’t watch what should have been one of the most exciting sports-viewing moments of my life because the team was so frustratingly awful that I changed the channel and watched fucking Batman instead. I hate superheroes. I mean really, think about it, we beat the fucking Lions. The Lions suck. Not only that, we needed to recover our own fumble to put points on the board (lucky), come back from a 20 point second half deficit (unlikely), lateral three times on a laugher of a play (ugly), be handed an extra play after time had expired because of a penalty (Lions), and complete a 61 yard Hail Mary (super fucking lucky/Lions). The offense looks terrible and I just don’t get it. Richard Rodgers is the focal point? I’m glad he had a great game and made a great catch, but he is anything but great. And what the fuck is with our running game? Did we really just swap our third string back for another third string back, then give him the bulk of the meaningful carries in his first NFL appearance with Eddie Lacy and James Starks on the bench? What fucking sense does that make? That’s a panicky coaching move if I’ve ever seen one. If we make the playoffs playing the way we’re playing, it’ll be over quick. We need to get better because right now, and I really mean this, we’re one of the worst teams in the NFC. I’m not gonna say what I’m tempted to say about play calling, but I’ll just say I’m just sayin. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like:

What I Liked:

Richard Rodgers: I mean he was awesome. He looked so comfortable on the Hail Mary, seemingly no panic whatsoever as he clinched an irrefutable catch to win the game in spectacular fashion. I really want to know if that little turn around he did was on purpose or just something he did. Even before the touchdown he was clearly the best player on offense throughout the game. He had seven catches on seven targets for 85 yards before the score, already doubling the production of any other pass catcher on the field. I’m honestly happy to see him have a game like this, and I hope it’s a sign that he’s progressing as a receiver, but this offense cannot run through Richard Rodgers. It just can’t. And don’t even get me started on Justin Perillo.

Sam Shields: Sammy is overpaid and not a good tackler and not the kind of veteran that will make the younger corners better, but he had a good game on Thursday. As usual he was tasked with following Calvin Johnson around all day, and held his ground to the tune of just three catches on eight targets. Covering Megatron requires more than speed (which Shields has to burn); it requires confidence, physicality, instincts, good ball skills, and a short memory. In my opinion, Sammy showcased the whole package on Thursday and earned his gigantic game check.

Mike Daniels: As always, the big man was a force to be reckoned with. No sacks, but consistent pressure up the middle and two tackles behind the line of scrimmage. He’s the best player in the NFL that nobody outside of Green Bay has heard of. Right now he’s the best player on our defense. Better than Peppers, better than Sammy, better than Clay, and ten times better than any other lineman I didn’t already mention. His contract is up after this year. I’m saying right now, Thompson is resigning this guy for big money. If he doesn’t re-up on one of the biggest contracts handed out this offseason, I’ll eat my hat. I will eat my fucking hat. Mark it down. Hat. Eating it.

What I Didn’t Like:

Wide Receivers: Alright I held out as long as I could, but you can officially put me on the bandwagon bitching about the receivers. Davante’s got the yips. He’s dropping almost everything (he had a nice catch on the touchdown, so let’s not exaggerate), and yet is still being targeted as much as anyone. He’ll get past this. Almost every receiver goes through this kind of slump, drops seem to come in bunches, it’s a confidence thing. Hey ‘Te? You’re good. Keep that head up player. Jones appears to be simply outmatched in most situations. He doesn’t have the physical skill set to have sustained success. His lack of production over the last six games (10 catches on 24 targets) proves that his six touchdowns in as many games to start the year was an aberration. I like the guy but he just ain’t that good. Abbrederis and Janis are frustrating non-factors that have the physical tools but can’t put them to use. I’m not expecting any production from them no matter the circumstances, at this point they are off the radar. Randall Cobb is the real quandary here. The guy looked like a legitimate superstar last year, and seemed poised to absolutely take over in 2015. Instead he’s had just one 100 yard performance, and has a 62% catch per target ratio, well below the league average. It’s not like I watch film or anything, but it really doesn’t seem like he’s commanding THAT much attention in coverage. Add to that the occasional amazing catch that he flashes, and his season to this point can only be described as an under performance. He’s frustrated, that much is obvious. He’s probably pressing and expecting too much of himself, which is probably hurting his performance, but the bottom line is that we need him to figure it out if we expect to go anywhere this year. The offense should flow through him. He’s our best skill player by a mile and we need him to play like it. Ok enough about the receivers. Also we have no deep threat.

Ball Security: Three turnovers is three too many, obviously. Ball security (and by extension turnover differential) is perhaps the most important statistic in any game that isn’t the final score. James Starks fumbled twice and realistically it should have cost us the game. His upright running style puts the ball at risk to be stripped, it’s almost like some sort of position coach should try to work with him on that in high traffic areas. The pick was a well enough thrown ball that Jones couldn’t hang on to. Drops lead to picks, it’s not uncommon, so let’s hold on to the fucking ball when we get an opportunity, mkay pass catchers?

Running Game: Now I don’t know about you guys, but I tend to think that 41 yards on 19 carries isn’t going to get the job done in January. I mean sure, Eddie Lacy had a solid performance, averaging 0.8 yards on 5 carries, even busting open a 2 yarder, but what about the other guys? If John Crockett is gonna be the bell cow that we all predicted him to be at the beginning of the season, he’s gonna need to stop tripping over his own linemen in the backfield. At least Starks only fumbled once every 4.5 times he carried the ball. Great overall effort guys, keep this kind of production up and Canton will have to open up a new wing just for this backfield.

**Bonus Quote of the Week**

“Do you not know that a multitude of your brethren die or suffer from need of what you have in excess, and that you needed express and unanimous consent of the human race to appropriate for yourself anything from common subsistence that exceeded your own?”

- Jean Jacques Rousseau

**Bonus Quote of the Week #2**

"Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be."

- James Hetfield, I guess

**Extra Points**

• Running back Alonzo Harris has been released, he'll likely be signed to the practice squad
• Eddie Lacy was apparently benched for missing curfew Wednesday night
• Rookie Jake Ryan lead the team with 10 tackles this week
• At one point four of the five starting offensive linemen were out due to injury, that is not good