Week Four in Review

There’s my chippy. This was officially the second NFL game EVER that did not feature a single punt. Neither team punted! That’s crazy. Of course we didn’t punt because we were busy scoring, while Chicago didn’t punt because they were busy getting their asses kicked up around their necks. Smokin’ Jay was up to his old tricks, throwing passes off his back foot, throwing passes to the wrong team, gobbling up and down the sideline, strutting his prominent turkey neck. Just imagine him being your team’s quarterback. What a nightmare. The offense was operating at full capacity, scoring on six straight possessions to start the game, including five touchdowns. The defense gave up tons of production in terms of yards, but held a decent offense to 17 points. It would be easy to criticize the defense after this performance, but I was happy with what they did on Sunday. It was reminiscent of the 2010 defense, forcing critical turnovers to mask statistical shortcomings. We’ve played .500 ball through the first quarter of the season, including a 1 – 1 record in the division. It’s not ideal, but everything we want is well within reach. Fuck the Bears. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like:

What I Liked:

Aaron Rodgers: One hell of a performance against a division opponent on the road, facing a potential 1 and 3 start to the season. An average of 10.78 yards per passing play is ridiculous. That means we averaged a first down every time we called a passing play. Four touchdowns to zero interceptions is good. He was 7 for 7 on third down, and 6 for 6 on attempts that traveled 15 yards or more in the air. Here’s the thing though, he can be better. He missed a couple of throws and was visibly upset with himself. It’s a step in the right direction, and I’m looking for him to continue this kind of production. He’s currently on pace to finish the year with 3996 yards, 36 touchdowns, and 4 interceptions.

Starting Wide Receiver Tandem: Cobb and Nelson were Cobb and Nelson. They combined for 17 catches on 21 targets for 221 yards and 4 touchdowns. They each had over 100 yards and 2 scores and had just one drop between them (Cobbler dropped a touchdown). Jordy leads the league in yards with 459, leads the league in first down receptions with 24, and is second in the league among wide receivers in yards after the catch with 137. Cobb leads the league in touchdowns with 5. I’ll say it again, we have the best starting wide receiver tandem in the league. Jordy is making a bid to be considered the best wideout in football this year. Now if only those rookies could start producing a bit…

Offensive Line: I don’t really know what to say or how to analyze their play, but I do know that Rodgers had all day to hang out in the pocket and pick apart the defense. So, I figure that’s good and stuff.

Hitting: Not tackling (although that was pretty darn good too), hitting. We gave up waaaay too many yards, that much is certain. It’s not realistic to think we can hold a team to 17 points while giving up 496 yards more than once. That being said, the defense was laying the fucking wood on Sunday. Burnett and Hawk combined for 26 tackles, and there weren’t many arm tackles. Hitting is important for a lot of reasons. Receivers start to get alligator arms, running backs get tentative, catchable balls get knocked out, quarterbacks get happy feet, all good things. Hitting is an attitude, and it affects the entire game. I’ve been looking for some edge on defense, and it finally showed up.

What I Didn’t Like:

Running Game: Eddie Lacy turned in another gem, racking up 56 yards on 17 carries for a robust 2.8 yards per carry. He’s really firing on all cylinders right now. Running with purpose, breaking all kinds of tackles, getting north and south in the backfield, generally instilling fear in defenses and forcing them to respect the run. Thank god James Starks didn’t get a single carry, cuz you can’t do anything to derail that freight train wearing number 27.

Run Defense: We continue to give up all kinds of production on the ground. We’re the worst run defense in the league right now and it’s not even close. We’ve given up 704 yards on the ground on 4.6 yards per carry. The next worst is Oakland (who just fired their head coach because they suck so bad), who’ve given up 633 yards on 4.3 yards per carry. So yeah, we’re the worst. It’s gotta get better or we won’t be winning any playoff games.

Extra Points:

        -    Charles Woodson is on pace for 96 tackles, 4 interceptions, and 16 passes defensed. He is 37.359 years old.

         -   Clay Matthews was a full participant in this week’s only practice, and is fully cleared for action on Thursday.

        -   The Vikings will start rookie QB Teddy Bridgewater this Thursday. He had himself a decent game this past week in his first meaningful NFL action, but the defense has to be licking its’ chops at the prospect of facing the rookie.

 -  Cornerback Jumal Rolle has been signed off the Packers practice squad by the Houston Texans.

** Bonus Quote of the Week **

"I spent thirty-three years and four months in active military service … and during that period I spent most of my time as a high-class muscle-man for big business, for Wall Street, and the bankers. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street, in China I helped to see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested."

-  Marine Lieutenant General Smedley Butler, winner of two congressional Medals of Honor

** What Was I Drinking **

Russian River Temptation Blonde Sour Ale aged in French oak chardonnay barrels. Pretentious? Sure. Delicious? God damn right. Thanks again Nick.

Week Three in Review

Well that was not very fun. Just ask my houseguests. I really can’t remember a worse offensive performance during the Rodgers/McCarthy era. The Lions’ defense is not good when healthy, and they were far from healthy on Sunday. The offensive line is looking more and more like a season-ruining weakness and Rodgers seems to be getting frustrated. It’s still very early but I’m reading a lot more into this loss than I did the week one loss to Seattle. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like:

What I Liked:

Secondary: I really like this unit quite a bit. They’re talented, deep, and confident. Shields and Williams did a terrific job on Calvin Johnson, holding him to a mortal 82 yards on six catches. House is looking more and more like a potential star to me. It’s great that he had a pick, but he’s also tackling well and playing great in coverage. Ha Ha got the safeties on the board with a nice interception, so we can stop talking about how long it’s been since that happened. Golden Tate’s production was a little annoying, but overall this was a terrific performance for the secondary against a potent passing attack.

Pass Rush: We only had two sacks on the day, but we were consistently in the backfield and put

some nice hits on Stafford. Mike Daniels has been a force of nature this year, and he was consistently disruptive again today. He’s a super star, no doubt about it. He’s got the rare ability to create pressure up the middle, which is so hard for an offense to overcome. Julius Peppers finally made a big play, sacking, stripping, and recovering in a crucial situation. Matthews was around the ball, but never broke through for a big play. He sustained some kind of injury late in the game, but didn’t look too concerned standing on the sideline. Let’s hope it’s nothing serious. The one reservation I have about the pressure that we got today is the fact that we had to rush five to get it. Most good quarterbacks can beat the blitz, but maybe our secondary is good enough to cover even when the blitz is on. We’ll have the answer soon enough.

What I Didn’t Like:

Aaron Rodgers: Let’s be real, he played like shit. Sure he was frequently under pressure, but what the fuck? Isn’t this guy a superstar? Some of his throws were so far off target I couldn’t even make sense of them. I’m also sick and tired of him showing up teammates on the field. If someone makes a mistake, just be an adult and deal with it in the huddle or on the sidelines. Does he really think that rookie receiver Davante Adams is going to be more assignment sure after getting yelled at by his quarterback in front of 70,000 people? It’s stupid and it makes the team worse. His frustration was obvious and understandable, but he’s got to play better than he did today or this team is going nowhere.

Running Game: Just terrible. 22 rushes for 76 yards and no touchdowns. Also a fumble from our feature back. Eddie Lacy has yet to put together anything even close to a solid game this year. Starks was apparently running too well for the coaching staff to continue giving him the ball. I get that Eddie is the star, but if James is producing, leave him in the fucking game until he isn’t! McCarthy’s inability and/or unwillingness to make offensive adjustments to the game plan is becoming a more and more credible narrative. This was exactly the kind of game where you need to run the football and we simply could not. This has got to get better.

Pass Protection: We only gave up two sacks, but that stat does not tell the story. Rodgers was under pressure once again, and could not produce. The Lions have a good defensive line, but so do like eight or ten other teams. Do we just throw our hands up and mail it in every time we’re up against a decent unit? Jesus Christ this does not feel like a playoff team right now. The offense produced 5.06 yards per passing play against arguably the worst secondary in the league.

Extra Points:

       -          All 52 active members on the roster practiced in some capacity on Wednesday. Everyone (myself included) has been bitching about injuries ruining seasons for years. Well we’re healthy right now, so let’s do something about it.

       

       -          The Packers have started each of the last three seasons 1-2, and made the playoffs the first two times.

       -          The Bears are last in the league in rushing through three weeks, and 26^th out 32 when it comes to stopping the run. Looks like an opportunity for the Packers to control the clock and for Eddie Lacy to put up his first big game of the year.

      -          Four key starters for the Bears are currently listed as questionable, and a fifth (Peanut Tillman – one of my favorite non-Packers) is on IR. Let’s see if we can capitalize on a banged up opponent like we should have done last week.

** Bonus Quote of the Week **

‘The Vile Maxim of the Masters of Mankind: All for ourselves and nothing for other people.’

-          Adam Smith

** What Was I Drinking **

Pliny the Elder, courtesy of my boy Chowder out in Oaktown.

Week One in Review

Football’s back! Weeeeeeeew! Sure we got our asses kicked, but that didn’t stop me from having some beers and chilling the fuck out for three hours. I’m pleased as punch. It’s week one, and clearly we’ve got some kinks to work out, but that is one hell of a team out there in Seattle. Our longest play of the game was 15 yards, but are any of you worried about the offense? Well if you’re smart enough to read this blog you ain’t. It was just the best defense in the league in the toughest stadium in the league. This wasn’t our game to win. This is gonna be a great season and we will be on the boot side of more than a couple ass kickings this year, I guarantee it. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like:

What I Liked:

Starting Wide Receiver Tandem: I’m saying right now that we have the best wide receiver tandem in the league. It’s unfortunate that Randall and Jordy were the only two receivers targeted all night on Thursday (a function of minimal rapport between Rodgers and the rooks, plenty of pass rush from Seattle, and avoiding Richard Sherman like the plague), but as always they produced. The offense was essentially non-existent outside of these two. They both play with tremendous confidence and refinement. Their route running and pass catching look effortless, and their knowledge of the offense allows them to play in the slot or either side on every play. Stay tuned for big things from these two, it’s going down.

Clay Matthews: He’s back and healthy and terrifying as ever. His stat line doesn’t jump off the page, but he was all over the field. It’s just that he’s so fast and crazy. Right now he’s the only player on the defense with any kind of edge or attitude. I’m looking for the coaching staff to manage his snaps responsibly early on in the season so that we’re not left with Sam Barrington and Mike Neal at OLB for the last ten weeks of the season.

Ha Ha: It isn’t so much that he had a great game. He looked pretty bad in coverage a couple of times and tackled like he was a member of the Packers’ defense. What I liked is that he made impact plays. He recovered a fumble (admittedly a lot of luck involved, but hey, he did that shit), recorded a sack (admittedly while chasing the qb out of bounds a half yard behind the line of scrimmage, but hey, he did that shit), and defended a couple of passes downfield (admittedly dropping a sure fire pick, but hey). Basically the point is we need playmakers on defense and he made plays. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the coaching staff put number 21 on his jersey. He should see more playing time this week.

What I Didn’t Like:

Yards Per Play: 4.5. Really, really…..not….good.

Tackling: Let’s not beat a dead horse here.

Tight Ends: Not sure we’re gonna see too much production out of this unit this year.

Extra Points:

- Eddie Lacy has been medically cleared to play following his concussion last Thursday. He’ll be ditching his new age helmet in favor of the model he wore last year.

- Brad Jones will be riding pine this week, allegedly because of a minor leg injury. Jamari Lattimore will likely get the start.

- Packer legend Bart Starr suffered a minor stroke this week but is expected to make a full recovery.

** BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK **

“Dare to think, dare to speak, dare to do, dare to attack, dare to carry on a revolution, in a word, dare to rebel.”

- Chinese Red Guards

** BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK #2 **

“More Phillies than Pete Rose”

- Pun

** WHAT WAS I DRINKING **

High Life in a can courtesy of Prince William.

2013 Season in Review

Had plenty of chances to beat the Niners, and we weren't able to take advantage. It was our game to win and we fell short. I'm not gonna review the game because it will just piss me off, so without further ado, I present to you the First Annual Abeerspackerblog Year End Awards©!!! Strap in assfucks.

He's a quality, classy running back. I wanna kiss you.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Any questions? Eddie Lacy was everything we hoped he could be and more. The stats are all there: 1178 rushing yards, 4.1 yards per carry, 11 rushing touchdowns, 1435 yards from scrimmage, one fumble all year, etc. On paper he's likely the NFL rookie of the year, but what I liked most about Eddie was the attitude he brought to the table. His willingness to dish out punishment is admirable to say the least. There does not exist a defensive back that wants to tackle him. He fights his ass off on every play, something we just haven't seen from the half back position in Green Bay since Ahman Green. He's nasty, he's exciting, he's productive, and he's coming back next year stronger and smarter. He has completely won me over.

Runner-Up: David Bakhtiari. Sixteen starts at left tackle as a rookie is impressive. He held up against the best pass rushers on the planet, and was part of an offensive line that helped create 2136 rushing yards.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Although his stats don't exactly jump off the page (aside from his 55 total tackles), Micah Hyde played some solid football. Playing corner is a thankless job, and it's especially difficult for a rookie. Hyde's physical limitations force him to play even more fundamentally sound than a corner who can make up for some mistakes with speed (Sam Shields). He was solid if unspectacular in coverage, but he made his mark near the line of scrimmage. I've said it before, but I'm gonna say it again, he tackles like Charles Woodson. There is no faster way to ingratiate yourself to a coaching staff than to tackle effectively, and Hyde didn't shy away from one single tackle this year. He also showed some big play ability on special teams, including averaging over 12 yards per punt return, a 93 yard touchdown, and a timely 70 yard kick return against the Steelers in week 16. It was a little disappointing that he wasn't able to snag a pick (though he did get a sack and force a fumble), hopefully he'll continue to develop in terms of coverage ability. Everything that I've seen and heard about him says that he's got the intelligence and work ethic to do just that.

Most Disappointing Rookie: Datone Jones was boooooooring. He made a few plays (blocked a kick, had 3.5 sacks, recovered a fumble), but he never made his presence felt on the field. I'm not the type to get all worked up over an underwhelming rookie season, but I just wanted him to be a difference maker so bad. Ten total tackles is not getting it done. I mean I had to double check to see what number he wears for Christ's sake. Ryan Pickett and B.J. Raji are both free agents, and I'm not convinced we'll bring either one back. That means that our perennially disappointing defensive line is likely going to get even worse. We NEED guys like Datone Jones to take big steps forward otherwise our defense might be in trouble yet again.

Unsung Hero of the Year: I'm slowly starting to understand just how important John Kuhn is. This six foot, 250 pound bowling ball is nobody's fool, and we've kept him around for six plus seasons for a reason. According to teammates, he's the only player that knows the offense better than Aaron Rodgers. Of course there's the block on the Cobb touchdown on fourth down in Chicago, and the fourth down run on the same drive, but those are just plays that morons like me need to finally take note of how good he really is. Just think of the confidence it gives your teammates and your coaching staff when they know that you're going to execute your assignment properly on every play. I would guess that Aaron Rodgers and Mike McCarthy would count Kuhn among the best players on the team, and we'd all do well as fans to understand that.

I mean, come on dog.

Offensive MVP: It's no secret that I'm a big Jordy Nelson fan. He's big, fast, strong, talented, quiet, and he catches everything. Even though his touchdown numbers weren't huge (eight is still a good number), he tallied 1.314 yards on 85 catches. He was clearly our go to guy with Cobb on the sidelines. Consider this, at 67%, Nelson's catch per targets percentage was the highest in the league among wide receivers. Higher than possession receivers like Anquan Boldin and Brandon Marshall, higher than top tier tight ends like Jimmy Graham, Antonio Gates, and Vernon Davis, even higher than Calvin Johnson (who of course cannot be categorized). More impressive still is that his 15.5 yards per catch was good for 15th among wide receivers. So on average, Jordy got us 15.5 yards two out of every three times the ball was thrown his way. Let's not forget that half a season of those passes came from the ponderous hands of future Hall of Famers Seneca Wallace, Scott Tolzien, and the somewhat less panic inspiring Matt Flynn. It really was an amazing season, and the dude doesn't say shit. He doesn't say a god damn word about how good he is. He doesn't bitch about wanting more targets (Desean Jackson), he doesn't scream at teammates or coaches on the sideline (Dez Bryant), he doesn't throw his quarterback under the bus (Pierre Garcon), and he doesn't even complain about being outrageously underpaid (every receiver ever that's been even slightly underpaid). He's a true professional and we're lucky to have him.

Runner-Up: Eddie Lacy (see above knob-slobbing)

Defensive MVP: Clay Matthews. I'm gonna do that thing where I say he's the MVP even though he missed a bunch of games and didn't put up huge numbers because his absence had such an impact that it further proved his value. I'm gonna do that and you're just gonna have to deal with it because I write this fucking blog, not you. He still had 7.5 sacks and forced three fumbles, but we just COULD NOT pressure the quarterback with the Claymaker on the sidelines. Our training staff has to come up with a strategy to manage his health more effectively. I understand that every game is important and you can't sideline a healthy Clay Matthews, but doesn't the thought of sitting him for the first four games sound kind of appealing? It does to me, and I write this fucking blog, so fuck you. It's almost unfortunate how well he plays the run because it makes it even harder to take him off the field on first and second down. Here's my plan: Clay doesn't get to play on first or second down until week 5. After that, he doesn't get to play on first down until week 9. After that, he only plays on first down when we're down in the fourth quarter until week 12. Then you turn him loose and watch him fuck the league in the ass. He's just too crazy to be trusted to manage his own health and well-being. You can thank me with a Superbowl ring Mark Murphy.

Runner-Up: A.J. Hawk. Man I am on a roll right now. That's right haters, A.J. Hawk is awesome and if you disagree you're wrong. He's the all time leader in tackles for the Packers. Does that happen on accident? I think not.

Comeback Player of the Year: Johnny Jolly. I love this guy, and so does everyone else. I won't pour over the details of his story again, but I'll just say that to go from codein-addicted, multiple-felon inmate, three years removed from football, to locker room leader and on-field producer in one off-season is AMAZING. You're the man Johnny, and I am genuinely proud of you. Welcome back.

Worst Off-season Move: Letting Charles Woodson walk. You know how much Oakland paid Charles Woodson to play this year? One millions dollars. One. And what did he do? Oh, you know, just a bunch of Charles Woodson-ey stuff. 97 tackles, forced three fumbles, recovered two of those, had two sacks, had a pick, scored a touchdown, etc. Do you think that perhaps a player like that would have been helpful at safety this year? For one million dollars? I was astonished when we let him go last year. He's a once-in-a-generation talent on defense. I'm not gonna get into all the reasons Charles Woodson is my favorite football player of all time, but I'll just say that TT fucked up on this one.

Best Off-season Move: Re-signing Aaron and Clay. I mean we all knew it was going to happen, and Aaron Rodgers got himself PAID, but I thought the Clay deal was a bargain. $66 million over five years is a staggering amount of money, but not within the context of NFL outside linebackers who can consistently get to the quarterback. Rodgers' contract isn't exactly 'team friendly,' but he could have put the screws to us worse, and he didn't. TT did well to keep him happy and not get absolutely taken to the cleaners in the process. It's NFL GM 101 material but he got it done.

Play of the Year: I'm a defensive guy. I'd guess that something like seven out of my ten favorite plays are on defense. Al Harris' pick six against Seattle in the playoffs, Nick Collins' Superbowl pick, Charles Woodson's goal line tackle against the Ravens, Tramon Williams' pick six against Atlanta just before half time, these are just a few that come to mind. The contrarian in me wants to pick a defensive play, but I just have to go with the fourth and 8 touchown to Cobb. The execution was a thing of beauty. Rodgers had seven blitzers in his face, somehow managed to escape the pocket, rolled out to his left, found the open man, and delivered an accurate throw against his body 40 yards downfield. Cobb saw the coverage, adjusted his route, threw his hand up four yards before he was open, made the high pressure (albeit routine) catch, and found the end zone. But the real star of the play, as we all know, was none other than John Kuhn. Kuhn diagnosed the blitz pre-snap, attempted to alert Rodgers and make an adjustment, but couldn't get Rodgers' attention. After the snap, he moved up in the pocket to protect, immediately saw Julius Fucking Peppers coming unblocked off the edge, slid all the way across the formation, and executed a beautiful cut block to enable Rodgers' escape. Without Kuhn in the backfield, Rodgers never gets a pass off. What really sends this play over the top for me though, is the magnitude of the situation. We're playing in Chicago for the division title, and the game is on the line. This isn't fourth and 2 mind you, we HAVE to get 8 yards. Well we got it, and sent Cutler and Co. packing in a most satisfying fashion.

Thanks to everyone who read my blog at all this year. I have a lot of fun writing this stuff, so I hope you got some entertainment out of it. I love football and I love the Packers, and I hope that comes through in my writing. I'd keep writing even if nobody read, but your feedback makes it a lot more fun. I'll crank out a post or two during the off-season when the mood strikes. In the mean time if you guys ever think of something you'd like me to write about, please let me know! Writing is the easy part, it's coming up with topics that everyone will find interesting that can be tough. Anyway thanks again, and there's always next year.

And now for a lil bonus material:

**BEERS I'LL BE DRINKING THIS OFFSEASON**

Jolly Pumpkin Brewery - Oro de Calabaza: A strong golden ale brewed with wild yeast that gives it a unique sour funk.

Bell's Brewery - Hopslam: What it sounds like.

Russian River Brewing Company - Pliny the Elder: Never had it, heard outrageous things.

**STUFF PEOPLE SMARTER THAN ME HAVE SAID THAT I LIKE**

"When I said the position of Muslim women had to change-to change now-people were always telling me to wait, or calling me right wing. Was that what they told the mine workers in the nineteenth century when they fought for workers' rights?"

- Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a remarkable woman from Mogadishu, Somalia who overcame some ridiculous abuse and hardship to be elected to Dutch Parliament and change the world in some amazing ways.

"It is important to realize that a healthy, scientific skepticism is compatible with a fundamental openness of mind."

- Sam Harris, a philosopher, neuroscientist, outspoken atheist, and founder of Project Reason. Smart as fuck.

"It is natural to hope that our descendants will look upon us with gratitude. But we should also hope that they look upon us with pity and disgust, just as we view the slaveholders of our all-too-recent past. Rather than congratulate ourselves for the state of our civilization, we should consider how, in the fullness of time, we will seem hopelessly backward, and work to lay the foundation for such refinements in the present."

- Sam Harris

"I'll hang my boots to rest when I'm impressed, so I triple knot 'em and forgot 'em"

- Aesop Rock, rapper

**A PLEA**

The Trans Pacific Partnership. Look it up, read about it, be aware, get angry. The powers that be do not want you to know about this.