Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Week Two in Review

In the poetic prose of the immortal bard Mystikal, that was as fucked up as Santa Claus for Easter. It was a bad loss. I hate that I probably have to start showing the Vikings some measure of respect. I mean not respect in the sense that I respect them as people, players, or a team, but just in the sense that they may no longer be tiny little purple doormats. I just hate that. They have some pretty decent players on that defense and that’s the last nice thing I will say about them. The Packers played like shit on offense for the second week in a row, and did very little to inspire confidence in the coming weeks. The defense absolutely did their part on Sunday, but 14 points is rarely enough to get the job done in an offensive league.

What I Liked:

Daniels is a leader. If the world was fair he'd be an MVP candidate.
Defense: I liked almost everything thing they did. Four different players combined for four sacks, including an all-important tally from an interior defensive lineman (guess which one). Adrian Peterson averaged an awful 1.6 yards per carry, good enough for .2 yards better than the Vikings’ team average. That is fantastic run defense for two straight weeks now. Fantastic. It’s obviously too early to look at team stats, but the Packers run defense is leading the league in every fucking one of them. The defense yielded just 15 first downs all day, which is lower than the worst team average from 2015 (St. Louis Rams). The Vikings converted only 28.5% of their third down attempts, which would have been good enough for 29th in the league last year. Also we hit the quarterback 10 times, historically enough to break Sam Bradford into 14 pieces. Basically only one Minnesota player was able to accomplish anything on offense, and an average offensive performance by the Packers would have produced a win.

Inside Linebackers: I was as worried about this position as any heading into the season, but these three guys have more than shut me up. Between the three of them; Ryan, Martinez, and Thomas have all of two years of NFL experience. ILB in a 3-4 defense is an active and demanding position, you have to cover tight ends and backs in the passing game, and be a missile in the middle of every running play. It’s been fun watching them split time and make plays so far. This week all three were in the top five tacklers on the team, and none has been exposed in the passing game yet. It’s always cool to see a perceived position of weakness become the opposite. Again, it’s very early, and young players often hit a wall during the long NFL season (especially long if you play for the Packers because we go to the playoffs every year), but it’s been an encouraging start to the year at ILB.

Jordy: He’s still not back to primetime Jody, catching just five of eleven targets, but he clearly improved from week one to two. He caught a vintage 50/50 contested Jordy toss-up for 39 yards and scored again. If he continues to improve he’ll once again be a force to be reckoned with for any defense.

What I Didn’t Like:

Aaron Rodgers: Honestly he looked about as bad as I’ve ever seen him. He consistently looked unsure of himself before the snap, locked onto primary targets, and struggled to find the open receiver. There were too many times when he drifted out of a perfectly good pocket, and too many off balance throws. I have to say he looked a bit like Cutler on a couple throws, relying on his physical tools instead of doing all the small things properly. Once again his yards per attempt (5.9) were very low, over two yards under his career average. He has now gone 14 straight games without a passer rating over 100, which is especially bad considering his CAREER passer rating is 103.8. His passer rating and QBR over the same 14 game span (2 games short of a full 16 game season) have both been worse than in his first year as a starter, and he’s turning the ball over as much as he ever has. In short, he’s currently in the midst of the worst stretch of football he’s ever played as a professional. I don’t know why it’s happening, but I do know that’s it’s not very fun to watch. Sara thinks it’s because his brother won the bachelor and he can’t handle that. My best guess is that he’s directing his laser focus towards the wrong things. What those might be (and what they should be), again I don’t know. I guess it’s time for McCarthy to earn his paycheck and manage the fucking talent.

Run/Pass Balance: Surprise, surprise, we couldn’t commit to the run. Again. Oh everyone talks about running the ball, getting Lacy involved, achieving an appropriate balance, but when the fuck is it going to happen? It can’t be that hard to just call some fucking running plays. It’s early enough in the season that we can probably get away with running the ball too much to prove a point. McCarthy has said before that the running game is a mindset, which is to say ‘sack up and run the fucking ball.’ So sack up and run the fucking ball.


Turnovers: Careless fumbles and crunch time picks lead to losses. All of the sudden we’re too good to play fundamentally sound football? I hate to break it to everyone but we haven’t really done shit in the postseason since 2010. It’s now 2016 and we haven’t played good ball in a year. It really is time to get back to basics, execute simple assignments, and protect the god damn ball.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

'You forget that the fruits belong to all and that the land belongs to no one.'

    - Jean Jacques Rousseau

Monday, September 12, 2016

Week One in Review

I had it muted, nobody cared, the surgeon just off camera to the right was with me all the way.
Oh I’m sowwy we wuined your wittle pawty Jaguaws. ‘Oh we’re getting better and have a lot of young talent and are finally ready to win some games,’ fuck you. Blake Bortles. Yea right. Not my quarterback not my problem, that’s what I say. Rodgers summed it up succinctly when he said it’s hard to win in this league and it’s especially hard to win on the road in this league. Of course you’d like to blow out a team like the Jags, but a win is a win on the score sheet. You have to be happy about it and build off of it. Anyway, I’m on my honeymoon in a foreign country with a tenuous connection to civilization, but when the Packers win I get at my peeps. So lemme get at you about some shit that I liked and some shit that I didn’t like before I grab some more beers and head out to the next beautiful beach.

What I Liked:

I don't know, Eddie still looks fat to me.
Jordy Nelson: I mean how good was it to see the big dog back? It took a minute, and a few missed connections, but Jordy Nelson was once again a productive receiver for the Green Bay Packers. His longest catch was nine yards but I’ll be gad damned if he wasn’t handsome and exciting. We honestly could not have hoped for any better than several catches and a touchdown. He was movin around and stuff, makin plays, doin all manner of Jody thangs. He’s a good boy.

Run Defense: Now I understand that T.J. Yeldon and Denard Robinson aren’t exactly Thurman Thomas and Emmitt Smith, but them boys couldn’t run for SHIT against this D. The Jags averaged 1.8 yards per carry. And it’s not like they had five or six attempts, they tried to run 26 times! That has to be the difference in the game right there. Their longest run of the game was seven yards. I harp on establishing the run on offense all the time, and for good reason. It’s the foundation of nearly any productive offense. You either give up the tough yards or you take them, and our front seven took them on Sunday.

This is just cool.
Lane Taylor: Don’t recall the young man being mentioned even one time. The knock on Taylor is that he’s a downgrade from Sitton in terms of pass-blocking. That’s likely true, but Rodgers was sacked just once on Sunday and I don’t think it was Taylor who gave it up. Our backs averaged just 3.8 yards per carry, but obviously there’s about nine thousand factors that go into that particular stat. I’d say Taylor’s maiden voyage as our starting Left Guard was a success. He stood up to the pressure and put a non-disaster start on tape.

What I Didn’t Like:

Davante Adams: Okay, he had the touchdown, that was good, I’m with him on that, but the drops? Can we not do this again this year ‘Te? Can we really just not do this again? How a guy can seemingly make every tough catch in the book and so consistently drop passes delicately placed in his bread basket is beyond me. There is enough talent behind Adams that we don’t need him on the field, so I just hope Mac and company manage the depth chart at WR appropriately.

Run/Pass Balance: 65% of our offensive snaps were called passing plays: 34 passing attempts, 4 scrambles by Arodg, and 1 sack. That’s just too god damn many, especially in this type of game where it was close from start to finish. We have got to find a way to run the ball half of the time on offense. Lacy averaged 4.4 per carry, why not feed him more in the second half? Obviously we still don’t trust the running game in crunch time. I get that you want the ball in your best player’s hands when it matters most, I really do, but establishing the run is necessary. It’s not a fucking luxury, it’s necessary. Remember when we won that Superbowl? You know, the only one Rodgers has ever won (or gotten to for that matter)? Remember how important James Starks was during that playoff run and how running the ball helped us win important games against quality opponents? I mean because I remember that, and I’d sure like to win another Superbowl.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

“If we are the greatest nation the sun ever shone upon, it would seem to be mainly because we have been able to goad our wage-earners to this pitch of frenzy.”

- Upton Sinclair

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

Some kind of red wine from Mallorca that was good and also a local beer that is fine.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Preseason

Wooooooooooooooooooooooo! Football! Footbawwl!! Aright! Summer is over and I couldn’t be happier. Starting next week Sundays are vaulted from the depths of hungover, cigarette-stankin’ misery, to the absolute pinnacle of human existence. There is NOTHING better than splashing a couple of cold ones on top of football Sunday jitters with a few friends. Monday morning couldn’t be any less meaningful. Fuck you corporate America, I’m watching the Packers kick ass! Here’s what I’m excited about and what I don’t care about:

What I’m excited about:

Jared Cook: He’s big, fast, and ugly. Exactly the kind of guy you want playing tight end for you. Sure, he’s never had more than 759 yards or 5 touchdowns in a season, but he’s also never had a quarterback better than Sam Bradford in his rookie year. Think about how motivated this guy is going to be; finally playing for a contender, with a god under center, after seven straight years of losing. Jared is going to have himself something to eat in the red zone. He’s going to need at least four side dishes and he may very well go back for thirds. If he stays healthy he’s setting career highs for yards and touchdowns. That’s just a thing that’s going to happen. You can see the excitement on Rodgers’ face when Cook is out there making catches. If these two can click right off the bat, we may see some big things.

Healthy Offensive Line: Bak is back, Bulaga is back, Lang is back, Linsley and Tretter are interchangeable, and Sitton is Sitton. I’ve said it a thousand times, but continuity on the offensive line is one of the most critical factors in the success of any football team. Obviously I don’t really know which teams have good offensive lines, but I’m sure our line has a chance to be among the best this year. It’s a talented, experienced unit that knows the offense well. I mean you tell me what’ll happen if Rodgers has time in the pocket. Are you kiddin me?™

What I don’t care about:

Jeff Janis: We’re talking about a guy with 11 career catches over two seasons, seven of which came in a single, weird game. We’re talking about a guy with a 16.7% catch rate during the 2015 regular season. That’s two catches on 12 targets. We’re talking about a guy who will, AT BEST, be the number five receiver on this roster and therefore insignificant from an offensive perspective. If he makes the team, it will be exclusively for his special teams contributions (which are admittedly admirable). He’s a non-factor on offense and I’m so tired of idiots droning on about how he deserves a chance. Really? If you’re going to question something, at least make it play calling so you might actually have a leg to stand on. Although I’m certain you’d still be wrong.

Punters: I mean fine, I get it, punting is important. But a certain point it’s just like, look, either this guy is gonna be the punter, or that guy is gonna be the punter. Either way nobody gives a shit about a punter. If you’re a punter you’re an embarrassment. The best you can do is to be the least noticeable embarrassment on the team. So do I give a shit what number you wear? Or what college you went to? Or what your name is? Obviously not. This is all time and energy spent discussing fucking punters that could have been spent on actual players. Shame on you eccentric little weirdos for somehow slithering into the spotlight. It’s time to skitter back to the cage Bill Parcels keeps you in as a part of his depraved carnival of sodomy and self-loathing.

Vegas has the Packers favored to win each and every game this year. Last I checked the line on total wins was at 11, higher than any other team in the league. Our only competition in the NFC North just lost their starting quarterback, Calvin Johnson retired, and Jay Cutler still plays for the Bears. Jordy Nelson is back, Eddie Lacy is fit, Clay Matthews is back at outside linebacker, and Aaron Rodgers is still under center. As usual, we have as a good a chance as any team to win the Superbowl. This year is gonna kick fucking ass and I can’t wait to watch these games with friends.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

‘The era of political revolutions is over, and where such still occur they do not alter in the least the bases of the capitalist social order. On the one hand it becomes constantly clearer that bourgeois democracy is so degenerate that it is no longer capable of offering effective resistance to the threat of Fascism. On the other hand political Socialism has lost itself so completely in the dry channels of bourgeois politics that it no longer has any sympathy with the genuinely Socialistic education of the masses and never rises above advocacy of petty reforms. But the development of capitalism and the modern big state have brought us today to a situation where we are driving on under full sail toward a universal catastrophe…It, therefore, concerns us today to reconstruct the economic life of the peoples from the ground up and build it up anew in the spirit of Socialism. But only the producers themselves are fitted for this task, since they are the only value creating element in society out of which a new future can arise. Theirs must be the task of freeing labor from all the fetters which economic exploitation has fastened on it, of freeing society from all the institutions and procedure of political power, and of opening the way to an alliance of free groups of men and women based on cooperative labor and a planned administration of things in the interest of the community. To prepare the toiling masses in city and country for this objective of modern Anarcho-Syndicalism, and in this its whole purpose is exhausted.’


             -      Rudolf Rocker



**BONUS PHOTO OF ME AND MY WIFE FROM OUR WEDDING LAST WEEK** (photo cred to Big P)