Week Three in Review

How’s that for responding to success? I would liken it to my own admirable response to successful domination of the blogosphere. Take if from the Green Bay Packers and me, it’s tough to remain this consistent, this hungry, this humble in the face of all the accolades. The ten point final score differential doesn’t come close to painting an accurate picture of this ass-whoopin. Kansas City completed just two passes and did not convert a third down in the first half. Jamaal Charles had no success whatsoever outside of the red zone. Travis Kelce didn’t show his face until the game was out of hand. I genuinely felt bad for the Kansas City defenders trying to stop this juggernaut offense. We are an extremely well coached team with a deep, talented roster. If you don’t think Mike McCarthy is a good coach, and Ted Thompson is a great GM, then I have no time for you. That being said, we’re still in the first quarter of the regular season, so let’s temper the excitement a bit. There is no shortage of tough opponents ahead, and it starts this Sunday with the 49ers in San Francisco. McCarthy should have no trouble motivating the team for this matchup, all he needs to do is point out how much Colin “I’m Obviously a Muppet/Date Rapist” Kaepernick sucks against everyone except us. He is a shit QB and yet he consistently tears us apart. We’ve suffered some key losses to the 49ers recently, including in the postseason, so there is undoubtedly some pride on the line. I’m expecting a tough matchup, but looking forward to a Packers win to close out a perfect start to the year. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like from Monday night:

What I Liked:

Defensive Line: They looked like a pack of rabid animals out there. I mean god damn is Mike Daniels strong. He just tosses linemen out of the way like so many shipping containers at a Tianjian chemical warehouse explosion. I’m telling you guys there are like six people in the world that can consistently generate pressure up the middle, and Mike Daniels is one of ‘em. Did you hear Tirico talking about how he’s just a few credits away from a medical degree? And he can stuff the run? The guy is a rare find indeed. Daniels’ running mate BJ Raji is playing some absolutely inspired football. He’s finally showing passion and hunger to go along with his first-round talent, and I am loving every minute of it. He’s trending towards his first Pro Bowl berth since the magical 2010 run. Clearly Jayrone Elliot is among my millions of loyal readers, as he did indeed sprinkle in a few more tackles and even a sack yesterday. You gotta wonder if there might be something to this dude, I’m sure he’ll see his opportunities continue to increase. I guess that Pennel guy is alright too but shit, there’s only so many things I can pay attention to, alright?

Hitting: How ‘bout them hits we were putting on ‘em yesterday?! Clay Matthews obviously gets some sort of sexual thrill out of smashing people, and god bless him for it. His ferocity is genuinely unsettling and it was fun to see him coming off the edge a few times yesterday. The safeties had a couple of big pops, I believe it was Clinton-Dix that was flagged for what looked like a clean hit, but that’s the NFL these days. Damarious Randall did this (which reminded me of my favorite hit of all time). Nate Palmer deserves to be singled out for his tackling efforts, Joe Thomas (freshly promoted from the practice squad to replace Sam Barrington) laid down a couple of tasty licks, even Sammy Shields had himself a hit. I absolutely love the aggressive, angry style of football our defense is playing right now. If we can develop the kind of defense that opponents do not want to face…

Starting Wide Receiver Tandem: This duo of possession receivers executes their assignments flawlessly. Their route running is precise, their ability to gain yards after the catch is second to none, and their rapport with the quarterback is everything you want it to be. I am genuinely shocked at their ability to produce even after losing Jordy. Just when defensive coordinators thought they could safely double a receiver in this offense, James Jones shits all over them with four touchdowns in three games. Ted Thompson’s ability to draft and develop quality wide receivers is truly remarkable. It makes you wonder what Adams and Montgomery might have in store. Perhaps even bigger shits than what Jones and Cobb have already lain? I dare not speculate on such quixotic notions.

"Did you see that guy try and tackle me?"

Aaron Rodgers: How do you do it Aaron? How do you continue to knock my socks off each and every week? I mean how many different ways can you carve up a defense? Who do you think you are? Escaping the pocket in your own end zone, throwing five touchdowns on 9.5 yards per attempt, refusing to throw a pick at home for nearly three years, literally joking around during your pre-snap checks, it’s ridiculous. And those hard counts?! I’m tellin you. You just keep on keepin on you old Orange Bozo you. I ain’t mad at ya.

What I Didn’t Like:

I miss this guy.

Deep Threat: We have no deep threat right now. Seriously, think about that. Think about what a

huge part of our offense the deep pass has been during Aaron Rodgers’ reign. We attempted one deep pass during the game that did not occur on a free play, and the route sucked (see Jeff Janis below). It’s great that we’re having all of this success in the passing game, and it’s great that we’ve been able to adjust our scheme in the absence of Jordy Nelson, but it’s a must that we stretch the field on occasion. If we continue to rely solely on short and intermediate passes, defenses are eventually going to tighten down. Smart defensive coordinators will bring a safety into the box, press the wide receivers, shrink the passing lanes, and make life difficult for a team without a legitimate deep threat. The receivers have been great, but it just doesn’t look like Cobb and Jones are going to scare opposing defenses into keeping two safeties over the top. Let’s hope Davante can come back from this high ankle sprain and develop into that out-and-up/slant-and-go receiver that we need.

Jeff Janis: He’s the early favorite for ‘Player Most Likely to have his Balls Ripped Off by a Coach or Quarterback.’ Yeah he had two nice plays on special teams, but what the fuck was he doing on offense? I mean I understand why he was on the field, we’re thin at wide receiver, but what the fuck was he doing? On his early go route, he ran out of bounds. It’s probably fairly difficult to complete a pass to a wide receiver that has opted to run out of bounds. On the one catch he did make, he failed to get set before the snap, leading to a five yard penalty. Rodgers, sporting a look of unadulterated disgust, could be seen asking, ‘He wasn’t fucking set?!’ The guy lacks focus, and will quickly find himself unemployed if he doesn’t start doing the small things that every player is expected to do. Is he really more valuable than Myles White?

** Bonus Quote of the Week **

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

-          Ralph Waldo Emerson

** What was I Drinking **

Almond milk with cinnamon, ginger, turmeric, and honey. It was a long weekend.