Week Fifteen in Review

Holy shit! Okay, I'm trying really hard to avoid the ever-present (no pun intended) quicksand of hyperbole, but I think I can honestly say that was one of the best football games I've ever seen. Down 26-3 at halftime, offense looking helpless against the league's worst defense, back-up qb under center, we put together a half of football I'm going to remember for a long time. There is so much credit to go around here that it's tough to talk about a single player's performance. Our offense scored a touchdown on every single second half possession until they were in the victory formation. The defense clamped down and made two unbelievable plays. The narrative in the media is all about the Cowboys' collapse, but the collapse never would have been were it not for some inspired football from the Pack. Huge credit to the coaching staff and the locker room leaders for keeping the team together in the face of such adversity. Oh and by the way, the Lions lost last night, so we, uh, CONTROL OUR OWN DESTINY WITH TWO GAMES TO GO! Shit just got real. Here's what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Back-up Pass Catchers: I know Nelson and Jones both had touchdowns, and Jordy made this catch, and this catch, but I gotta give props to the back ups. Jarrett Boykin and Andrew Quarless combined for 12 catches on 12 targets, 149 yards, a touchdown, six first downs, and two crucial third down conversions. That's excellent production for two guys that most fans (and I'm guessing a few coaches) never wanted to see on the field. Quarless (despite some absolutely abhorrent tattoos) seems to be developing into a legitimate receiving threat. He and Boykin both played with tremendous confidence, and it's a good sign for the future of this receiving core.

Eddie Lacy: Four catches, 21 carries, 171 total yards, and the game winning touchdown. I cannot tell you how satisfying it is to finally have a running back that can pick up the tough yards. I absolutely love this guy. He's exactly what we needed. Of course the offensive line deserves credit for opening up holes, but Lacy is flat out getting it done. He's now amassed over a thousand yards rushing and eight rushing touchdowns, and is clearly the front-runner for rookie of the year.

He really shouldn't be draggin his mink on the floor like that.

Tramon Williams: This guy has been under fire lately from seemingly every angle (including this blog), and shut the critics right the fuck up. He started the game by doing something I'm not sure he's ever done, actually embracing his responsibility to tackle. I know he's been dealing with a bum shoulder for a few years now, but I had really had it up to here with his unwillingness to take on ball carriers. He bucked that trend on Sunday and showed some toughness. Papa Charles would be proud. Then he snatches an improbable pick and returns it inside the ten yard line, only to have it snatched right back from him. So what does he do? Does he pout and lick his wounds and prepare his locker room complaints to the media? Fuck no. He goes out and makes this play to seal the most improbable victory I've seen in a long time. Papa Charles would be really proud. Congratulations on a huge game Tramon, now keep it up. Plus Sara informs me he's 'super cute,' which of course I had never noticed before.

The Whole Fucking Organization in the Second Half: I mean seriously, I could have picked damn near anyone to write about in 'What I Liked.' We made all the right play calls on offense and defense, we didn't panic or give up (I'm looking at you Dez Bryant), we made amazing catches, we blocked our asses off, we got after the QB, we were solid on special teams, the list goes on. McCarthy talks all the time about the character of his football team, and it was on full display last night. This is what football is all about.

What I Didn't Like:

Safeties: Man this position group has been a day late and a dollar short all year. If I had a nickel for every time Burnett or Jennings or Banjo or whoever was pushing someone out of bounds 30 yards downfield... They don't even tackle well! Burnett has taken a step back this year, and his rotating counterparts are just terrible. The corner play has at least been up and down, but the safeties started down and have stayed there. None of them has a pick this year. Not one pick by a safety. If that's not telling I don't know what is.

Run Defense: Demarco Murray is a good back, but fucking superman shouldn't average 7.4 yards per carry. It seemed like every time he touched the ball he was gashing us for a big gainer. That Murray is a real gash. But for real, have some pride defense. You can't let guys walk all over you like that. You have to wonder what would have happened if Jason Garrett actually let Murray touch the ball in the second half.

First Half: As beautiful as the second half was, that's how ugly the first half was. Overcoming that kind of deficit was amazing and tons of fun to watch, but we WILL NOT be able to do that again. The Steelers are too smart and too well coached and too proud to let that kind of thing happen. We're all riding high right now (as we should be), but one more half like that and it's season over. So quit fuckin around guys and just be awesome all the time. You know?

Extra Points:

- Rookie J.C. Tretter was activated from the PUP list this week and will likely suit up as an emergency O-Line backup.

- Backup MLB Jamari Lattimore apparently made an impactful speech in the locker room at halftime. That Micah Hyde missed because he had to take a dump.

- Sam Shields is as enigmatic as a player gets. He shows these occasional flashes of brilliance that make you think he might just be a hall of famer, which of course he is not.

- Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb have still not been medically cleared to play, pending examinations later on this week.

**BONUS LIST OF DOG NAMES I HATE**

1. Bentley

2. Bella

3. Remington

**BONUS LEGISLATION WE CAN ALL GET BEHIND**

The NFL (that's right, the $9 billion dollar corporate conglomerate) DOESN'T PAY CORPORATE TAXES. What the fuck? How is this possible? How did I not know about this? What an insulting example of money driving legislation. Tax these billionaire owners just like everyone else gets taxed, and build a fucking school you cock suckers.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

"Everyone's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's really an easy way: stop participating in it."

- Chomsky

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. It tasted funny. I think there might have been some soap in my glass. I was not fazed.