Week Three in Review

Well that was not very fun. Just ask my houseguests. I really can’t remember a worse offensive performance during the Rodgers/McCarthy era. The Lions’ defense is not good when healthy, and they were far from healthy on Sunday. The offensive line is looking more and more like a season-ruining weakness and Rodgers seems to be getting frustrated. It’s still very early but I’m reading a lot more into this loss than I did the week one loss to Seattle. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like:

What I Liked:

Secondary: I really like this unit quite a bit. They’re talented, deep, and confident. Shields and Williams did a terrific job on Calvin Johnson, holding him to a mortal 82 yards on six catches. House is looking more and more like a potential star to me. It’s great that he had a pick, but he’s also tackling well and playing great in coverage. Ha Ha got the safeties on the board with a nice interception, so we can stop talking about how long it’s been since that happened. Golden Tate’s production was a little annoying, but overall this was a terrific performance for the secondary against a potent passing attack.

Pass Rush: We only had two sacks on the day, but we were consistently in the backfield and put

some nice hits on Stafford. Mike Daniels has been a force of nature this year, and he was consistently disruptive again today. He’s a super star, no doubt about it. He’s got the rare ability to create pressure up the middle, which is so hard for an offense to overcome. Julius Peppers finally made a big play, sacking, stripping, and recovering in a crucial situation. Matthews was around the ball, but never broke through for a big play. He sustained some kind of injury late in the game, but didn’t look too concerned standing on the sideline. Let’s hope it’s nothing serious. The one reservation I have about the pressure that we got today is the fact that we had to rush five to get it. Most good quarterbacks can beat the blitz, but maybe our secondary is good enough to cover even when the blitz is on. We’ll have the answer soon enough.

What I Didn’t Like:

Aaron Rodgers: Let’s be real, he played like shit. Sure he was frequently under pressure, but what the fuck? Isn’t this guy a superstar? Some of his throws were so far off target I couldn’t even make sense of them. I’m also sick and tired of him showing up teammates on the field. If someone makes a mistake, just be an adult and deal with it in the huddle or on the sidelines. Does he really think that rookie receiver Davante Adams is going to be more assignment sure after getting yelled at by his quarterback in front of 70,000 people? It’s stupid and it makes the team worse. His frustration was obvious and understandable, but he’s got to play better than he did today or this team is going nowhere.

Running Game: Just terrible. 22 rushes for 76 yards and no touchdowns. Also a fumble from our feature back. Eddie Lacy has yet to put together anything even close to a solid game this year. Starks was apparently running too well for the coaching staff to continue giving him the ball. I get that Eddie is the star, but if James is producing, leave him in the fucking game until he isn’t! McCarthy’s inability and/or unwillingness to make offensive adjustments to the game plan is becoming a more and more credible narrative. This was exactly the kind of game where you need to run the football and we simply could not. This has got to get better.

Pass Protection: We only gave up two sacks, but that stat does not tell the story. Rodgers was under pressure once again, and could not produce. The Lions have a good defensive line, but so do like eight or ten other teams. Do we just throw our hands up and mail it in every time we’re up against a decent unit? Jesus Christ this does not feel like a playoff team right now. The offense produced 5.06 yards per passing play against arguably the worst secondary in the league.

Extra Points:

       -          All 52 active members on the roster practiced in some capacity on Wednesday. Everyone (myself included) has been bitching about injuries ruining seasons for years. Well we’re healthy right now, so let’s do something about it.

       

       -          The Packers have started each of the last three seasons 1-2, and made the playoffs the first two times.

       -          The Bears are last in the league in rushing through three weeks, and 26^th out 32 when it comes to stopping the run. Looks like an opportunity for the Packers to control the clock and for Eddie Lacy to put up his first big game of the year.

      -          Four key starters for the Bears are currently listed as questionable, and a fifth (Peanut Tillman – one of my favorite non-Packers) is on IR. Let’s see if we can capitalize on a banged up opponent like we should have done last week.

** Bonus Quote of the Week **

‘The Vile Maxim of the Masters of Mankind: All for ourselves and nothing for other people.’

-          Adam Smith

** What Was I Drinking **

Pliny the Elder, courtesy of my boy Chowder out in Oaktown.

Week One in Review

Football’s back! Weeeeeeeew! Sure we got our asses kicked, but that didn’t stop me from having some beers and chilling the fuck out for three hours. I’m pleased as punch. It’s week one, and clearly we’ve got some kinks to work out, but that is one hell of a team out there in Seattle. Our longest play of the game was 15 yards, but are any of you worried about the offense? Well if you’re smart enough to read this blog you ain’t. It was just the best defense in the league in the toughest stadium in the league. This wasn’t our game to win. This is gonna be a great season and we will be on the boot side of more than a couple ass kickings this year, I guarantee it. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like:

What I Liked:

Starting Wide Receiver Tandem: I’m saying right now that we have the best wide receiver tandem in the league. It’s unfortunate that Randall and Jordy were the only two receivers targeted all night on Thursday (a function of minimal rapport between Rodgers and the rooks, plenty of pass rush from Seattle, and avoiding Richard Sherman like the plague), but as always they produced. The offense was essentially non-existent outside of these two. They both play with tremendous confidence and refinement. Their route running and pass catching look effortless, and their knowledge of the offense allows them to play in the slot or either side on every play. Stay tuned for big things from these two, it’s going down.

Clay Matthews: He’s back and healthy and terrifying as ever. His stat line doesn’t jump off the page, but he was all over the field. It’s just that he’s so fast and crazy. Right now he’s the only player on the defense with any kind of edge or attitude. I’m looking for the coaching staff to manage his snaps responsibly early on in the season so that we’re not left with Sam Barrington and Mike Neal at OLB for the last ten weeks of the season.

Ha Ha: It isn’t so much that he had a great game. He looked pretty bad in coverage a couple of times and tackled like he was a member of the Packers’ defense. What I liked is that he made impact plays. He recovered a fumble (admittedly a lot of luck involved, but hey, he did that shit), recorded a sack (admittedly while chasing the qb out of bounds a half yard behind the line of scrimmage, but hey, he did that shit), and defended a couple of passes downfield (admittedly dropping a sure fire pick, but hey). Basically the point is we need playmakers on defense and he made plays. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the coaching staff put number 21 on his jersey. He should see more playing time this week.

What I Didn’t Like:

Yards Per Play: 4.5. Really, really…..not….good.

Tackling: Let’s not beat a dead horse here.

Tight Ends: Not sure we’re gonna see too much production out of this unit this year.

Extra Points:

- Eddie Lacy has been medically cleared to play following his concussion last Thursday. He’ll be ditching his new age helmet in favor of the model he wore last year.

- Brad Jones will be riding pine this week, allegedly because of a minor leg injury. Jamari Lattimore will likely get the start.

- Packer legend Bart Starr suffered a minor stroke this week but is expected to make a full recovery.

** BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK **

“Dare to think, dare to speak, dare to do, dare to attack, dare to carry on a revolution, in a word, dare to rebel.”

- Chinese Red Guards

** BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK #2 **

“More Phillies than Pete Rose”

- Pun

** WHAT WAS I DRINKING **

High Life in a can courtesy of Prince William.

2013 Season in Review

Had plenty of chances to beat the Niners, and we weren't able to take advantage. It was our game to win and we fell short. I'm not gonna review the game because it will just piss me off, so without further ado, I present to you the First Annual Abeerspackerblog Year End Awards©!!! Strap in assfucks.

He's a quality, classy running back. I wanna kiss you.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Any questions? Eddie Lacy was everything we hoped he could be and more. The stats are all there: 1178 rushing yards, 4.1 yards per carry, 11 rushing touchdowns, 1435 yards from scrimmage, one fumble all year, etc. On paper he's likely the NFL rookie of the year, but what I liked most about Eddie was the attitude he brought to the table. His willingness to dish out punishment is admirable to say the least. There does not exist a defensive back that wants to tackle him. He fights his ass off on every play, something we just haven't seen from the half back position in Green Bay since Ahman Green. He's nasty, he's exciting, he's productive, and he's coming back next year stronger and smarter. He has completely won me over.

Runner-Up: David Bakhtiari. Sixteen starts at left tackle as a rookie is impressive. He held up against the best pass rushers on the planet, and was part of an offensive line that helped create 2136 rushing yards.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Although his stats don't exactly jump off the page (aside from his 55 total tackles), Micah Hyde played some solid football. Playing corner is a thankless job, and it's especially difficult for a rookie. Hyde's physical limitations force him to play even more fundamentally sound than a corner who can make up for some mistakes with speed (Sam Shields). He was solid if unspectacular in coverage, but he made his mark near the line of scrimmage. I've said it before, but I'm gonna say it again, he tackles like Charles Woodson. There is no faster way to ingratiate yourself to a coaching staff than to tackle effectively, and Hyde didn't shy away from one single tackle this year. He also showed some big play ability on special teams, including averaging over 12 yards per punt return, a 93 yard touchdown, and a timely 70 yard kick return against the Steelers in week 16. It was a little disappointing that he wasn't able to snag a pick (though he did get a sack and force a fumble), hopefully he'll continue to develop in terms of coverage ability. Everything that I've seen and heard about him says that he's got the intelligence and work ethic to do just that.

Most Disappointing Rookie: Datone Jones was boooooooring. He made a few plays (blocked a kick, had 3.5 sacks, recovered a fumble), but he never made his presence felt on the field. I'm not the type to get all worked up over an underwhelming rookie season, but I just wanted him to be a difference maker so bad. Ten total tackles is not getting it done. I mean I had to double check to see what number he wears for Christ's sake. Ryan Pickett and B.J. Raji are both free agents, and I'm not convinced we'll bring either one back. That means that our perennially disappointing defensive line is likely going to get even worse. We NEED guys like Datone Jones to take big steps forward otherwise our defense might be in trouble yet again.

Unsung Hero of the Year: I'm slowly starting to understand just how important John Kuhn is. This six foot, 250 pound bowling ball is nobody's fool, and we've kept him around for six plus seasons for a reason. According to teammates, he's the only player that knows the offense better than Aaron Rodgers. Of course there's the block on the Cobb touchdown on fourth down in Chicago, and the fourth down run on the same drive, but those are just plays that morons like me need to finally take note of how good he really is. Just think of the confidence it gives your teammates and your coaching staff when they know that you're going to execute your assignment properly on every play. I would guess that Aaron Rodgers and Mike McCarthy would count Kuhn among the best players on the team, and we'd all do well as fans to understand that.

I mean, come on dog.

Offensive MVP: It's no secret that I'm a big Jordy Nelson fan. He's big, fast, strong, talented, quiet, and he catches everything. Even though his touchdown numbers weren't huge (eight is still a good number), he tallied 1.314 yards on 85 catches. He was clearly our go to guy with Cobb on the sidelines. Consider this, at 67%, Nelson's catch per targets percentage was the highest in the league among wide receivers. Higher than possession receivers like Anquan Boldin and Brandon Marshall, higher than top tier tight ends like Jimmy Graham, Antonio Gates, and Vernon Davis, even higher than Calvin Johnson (who of course cannot be categorized). More impressive still is that his 15.5 yards per catch was good for 15th among wide receivers. So on average, Jordy got us 15.5 yards two out of every three times the ball was thrown his way. Let's not forget that half a season of those passes came from the ponderous hands of future Hall of Famers Seneca Wallace, Scott Tolzien, and the somewhat less panic inspiring Matt Flynn. It really was an amazing season, and the dude doesn't say shit. He doesn't say a god damn word about how good he is. He doesn't bitch about wanting more targets (Desean Jackson), he doesn't scream at teammates or coaches on the sideline (Dez Bryant), he doesn't throw his quarterback under the bus (Pierre Garcon), and he doesn't even complain about being outrageously underpaid (every receiver ever that's been even slightly underpaid). He's a true professional and we're lucky to have him.

Runner-Up: Eddie Lacy (see above knob-slobbing)

Defensive MVP: Clay Matthews. I'm gonna do that thing where I say he's the MVP even though he missed a bunch of games and didn't put up huge numbers because his absence had such an impact that it further proved his value. I'm gonna do that and you're just gonna have to deal with it because I write this fucking blog, not you. He still had 7.5 sacks and forced three fumbles, but we just COULD NOT pressure the quarterback with the Claymaker on the sidelines. Our training staff has to come up with a strategy to manage his health more effectively. I understand that every game is important and you can't sideline a healthy Clay Matthews, but doesn't the thought of sitting him for the first four games sound kind of appealing? It does to me, and I write this fucking blog, so fuck you. It's almost unfortunate how well he plays the run because it makes it even harder to take him off the field on first and second down. Here's my plan: Clay doesn't get to play on first or second down until week 5. After that, he doesn't get to play on first down until week 9. After that, he only plays on first down when we're down in the fourth quarter until week 12. Then you turn him loose and watch him fuck the league in the ass. He's just too crazy to be trusted to manage his own health and well-being. You can thank me with a Superbowl ring Mark Murphy.

Runner-Up: A.J. Hawk. Man I am on a roll right now. That's right haters, A.J. Hawk is awesome and if you disagree you're wrong. He's the all time leader in tackles for the Packers. Does that happen on accident? I think not.

Comeback Player of the Year: Johnny Jolly. I love this guy, and so does everyone else. I won't pour over the details of his story again, but I'll just say that to go from codein-addicted, multiple-felon inmate, three years removed from football, to locker room leader and on-field producer in one off-season is AMAZING. You're the man Johnny, and I am genuinely proud of you. Welcome back.

Worst Off-season Move: Letting Charles Woodson walk. You know how much Oakland paid Charles Woodson to play this year? One millions dollars. One. And what did he do? Oh, you know, just a bunch of Charles Woodson-ey stuff. 97 tackles, forced three fumbles, recovered two of those, had two sacks, had a pick, scored a touchdown, etc. Do you think that perhaps a player like that would have been helpful at safety this year? For one million dollars? I was astonished when we let him go last year. He's a once-in-a-generation talent on defense. I'm not gonna get into all the reasons Charles Woodson is my favorite football player of all time, but I'll just say that TT fucked up on this one.

Best Off-season Move: Re-signing Aaron and Clay. I mean we all knew it was going to happen, and Aaron Rodgers got himself PAID, but I thought the Clay deal was a bargain. $66 million over five years is a staggering amount of money, but not within the context of NFL outside linebackers who can consistently get to the quarterback. Rodgers' contract isn't exactly 'team friendly,' but he could have put the screws to us worse, and he didn't. TT did well to keep him happy and not get absolutely taken to the cleaners in the process. It's NFL GM 101 material but he got it done.

Play of the Year: I'm a defensive guy. I'd guess that something like seven out of my ten favorite plays are on defense. Al Harris' pick six against Seattle in the playoffs, Nick Collins' Superbowl pick, Charles Woodson's goal line tackle against the Ravens, Tramon Williams' pick six against Atlanta just before half time, these are just a few that come to mind. The contrarian in me wants to pick a defensive play, but I just have to go with the fourth and 8 touchown to Cobb. The execution was a thing of beauty. Rodgers had seven blitzers in his face, somehow managed to escape the pocket, rolled out to his left, found the open man, and delivered an accurate throw against his body 40 yards downfield. Cobb saw the coverage, adjusted his route, threw his hand up four yards before he was open, made the high pressure (albeit routine) catch, and found the end zone. But the real star of the play, as we all know, was none other than John Kuhn. Kuhn diagnosed the blitz pre-snap, attempted to alert Rodgers and make an adjustment, but couldn't get Rodgers' attention. After the snap, he moved up in the pocket to protect, immediately saw Julius Fucking Peppers coming unblocked off the edge, slid all the way across the formation, and executed a beautiful cut block to enable Rodgers' escape. Without Kuhn in the backfield, Rodgers never gets a pass off. What really sends this play over the top for me though, is the magnitude of the situation. We're playing in Chicago for the division title, and the game is on the line. This isn't fourth and 2 mind you, we HAVE to get 8 yards. Well we got it, and sent Cutler and Co. packing in a most satisfying fashion.

Thanks to everyone who read my blog at all this year. I have a lot of fun writing this stuff, so I hope you got some entertainment out of it. I love football and I love the Packers, and I hope that comes through in my writing. I'd keep writing even if nobody read, but your feedback makes it a lot more fun. I'll crank out a post or two during the off-season when the mood strikes. In the mean time if you guys ever think of something you'd like me to write about, please let me know! Writing is the easy part, it's coming up with topics that everyone will find interesting that can be tough. Anyway thanks again, and there's always next year.

And now for a lil bonus material:

**BEERS I'LL BE DRINKING THIS OFFSEASON**

Jolly Pumpkin Brewery - Oro de Calabaza: A strong golden ale brewed with wild yeast that gives it a unique sour funk.

Bell's Brewery - Hopslam: What it sounds like.

Russian River Brewing Company - Pliny the Elder: Never had it, heard outrageous things.

**STUFF PEOPLE SMARTER THAN ME HAVE SAID THAT I LIKE**

"When I said the position of Muslim women had to change-to change now-people were always telling me to wait, or calling me right wing. Was that what they told the mine workers in the nineteenth century when they fought for workers' rights?"

- Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a remarkable woman from Mogadishu, Somalia who overcame some ridiculous abuse and hardship to be elected to Dutch Parliament and change the world in some amazing ways.

"It is important to realize that a healthy, scientific skepticism is compatible with a fundamental openness of mind."

- Sam Harris, a philosopher, neuroscientist, outspoken atheist, and founder of Project Reason. Smart as fuck.

"It is natural to hope that our descendants will look upon us with gratitude. But we should also hope that they look upon us with pity and disgust, just as we view the slaveholders of our all-too-recent past. Rather than congratulate ourselves for the state of our civilization, we should consider how, in the fullness of time, we will seem hopelessly backward, and work to lay the foundation for such refinements in the present."

- Sam Harris

"I'll hang my boots to rest when I'm impressed, so I triple knot 'em and forgot 'em"

- Aesop Rock, rapper

**A PLEA**

The Trans Pacific Partnership. Look it up, read about it, be aware, get angry. The powers that be do not want you to know about this.

Week Seventeen in Review

NFC North Champions!! WOOOOOOO!!!! That was some SHIT right there!!! I mean holy SHIT!!!! What a season. This is as satisfying a division championship as I can remember. There's just something about clawing your way through all kinds of adversity that makes you appreciate the accomplishment that much more. Props to Matt Flynn and the coaching staff for navigating Aaron Rodgers' absence with aplomb. Huge props to Aaron Rodgers for coming back after eight weeks off, shaking off early mistakes, and engineering a magnificent 15 play, 87 yard, game-winning, come-from-behind drive that featured three fourth down conversions. Anyone got anything to say about Aaron Rodgers in the clutch now? I didn't fucking think so. Here's a joke: Matt Forte, Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall, Julius Peppers, and Lance Briggs walk into a bar.... to watch the Packers in the playoffs. We've got the Niners in Lambeau this week, and regardless of what anyone has said or continues to say, we are a dangerous team right now, particularly at home. We're in the tournament and get at least one more week of meaningful Packer football. Life is pretty good right now. Here's what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Jordy Nelson: Quick, name three wideouts better than Jordy Nelson. Take a second. That's right, you can't. Maybe if you had four or five minutes you could come up with four that are better right now (I've got Josh Gordon, Calvin Johnson, A.J. Green, and maaaaaybe Antonio Brown), which puts Jordy Nelson at number five. He's got the ability to come down with most any pass thrown in his general vicinity, has well above average speed for a receiver, runs excellent routes, and clearly has a rapport with Aaron Rodgers, as evidenced by his 16 targets this past Sunday. He's a superstar that has averaged over 1100 yards and 10 touchdowns over the last three seasons. He's under contract for a paltry $2.55 million in 2014, and set to be a free agent in 2015. Extending his contract is obviously a priority this off-season, but he's outplayed his current deal by a country mile. He's gonna get paid, and I'm quite sure the Packers will be writing the checks.

Running Game: With star running back Eddie Lacy hobbled by a sprained right ankle, the running game had to be a team affair on Sunday, and that's exactly what it was. Lacy gamely fought through pain 21 times for 66 yards and a creative score, but Jimmy Starks really picked up the slack, going 88 yards on just 11 carries. Add in the absolutely crucial fourth down one yard carry by John Kuhn and a five yard first down pick up on that same final drive by Rodgers, and we had a darn good day on the ground. 34 carries to 39 passing attempts is some nice balance on offense, something we'll need this week against the stout Niners defense.

John Kuhn: I was all set to post an attempt at satire poking fun at John Kuhn, and then he goes out and proves what an idiot I really am. He saved our season not once, but twice on Sunday, picking up a yard on fourth and one, and then picking up an untouched Julius Peppers on fourth and eight. He's a stalwart on this offense and deserves some fucking credit. Thank you John Kuhn for being our unsung hero.

BALLS: What does it take to go for it on fourth and one in the fourth quarter deep in your own territory? Balls. What does it take to play running back in the NFL on a sprained ankle? Balls. What does it take to convert not one, but THREE fourth downs on the final drive to comeback against your biggest rival with the season on the line? Balls. And what does it take to throw a 48 yard touchdown on fourth down with Julius Peppers in your face? That's right, big old giant fucking balls. Let's see what kinda balls you got San Fran.

What I Didn't Like:

Safeties: Getting real tired of writing about you guys. Getting real tired of it. Can't you just play an average game so I can at least shit on someone else? Seriously, I like you guys, this hurts me more than it hurts you. Anyway what that hell was Morgan Burnett doing on that long pass to Alshon Jeffery? The defense was clearly two man under, with Shields playing his position perfectly and expecting help over the top. Burnett, whose job is simply to NOT GET BEAT DEEP inexplicably bites on a shallow(er) crossing route, leaving Jeffery comically open 40 yards downfield. Oh and by the way, Tramon Williams officially tackles better than all of you. If that doesn't motivate you, I don't know what will.

Kick and Punt Coverage: I know he's Devin Hester, but this is 2013 Devin Hester, a long way removed from six touchdown, shit-your-pants-scary 2006 Devin Hester. He's averaging 25 yards per kick return this year, and has just one return touchdown total. He's still good, don't get me wrong, but I shouldn't have to be terrified every time he touches the ball. I know I wasn't the only one holding my breath on that last return. Special teams have to be air tight against a team like San Fran, but we do have the benefit of playing in the not-so-friendly confines of Lambeau Field.

Pass Rush: Virtually non-existent. It's a good thing Jay Cutler sucks, because any good qb would likely have shredded us. Anybody that underestimates the importance of Clay Matthews is an idiot. He's so clearly the second most important player on our team. Andy Mulumba had our only sack (a sack he definitely earned), and Mike Daniels got close a couple of times, but that is all you can say for our pass rush. Colin Kaepernick is averaging just 1.3 TDs and under 200 yards per game. If we can get pressure on him we can shut him down. We'll have to be disciplined in how we rush so that we don't open huge running lanes for him, but we have to get pressure. We've seen what he can do with time.

Extra Points:

- For once, McCarthy had no significant injuries to report following Sunday's game.

- Jay Cutler is now 1-8 against the Packers as a Bear. Which is just terrific.

- Clay Matthews will not play against the 49ers, but may return at some point if we continue to win games.

- Randall Cobb had two targets in his return. For two touchdowns. Including the game winner. And I love him.

- Mason Crosby finished the season with a field goal percentage over 89%, having connected on all 22 attempts from inside 40 yards. Congratulations on an excellent bounce back season.

- Here it is. In all its glory.

**I WAS WRONG**

I said that in order for the Packers to make the playoffs, Aaron Rodgers needed to come back by the first week in December. It appears I underestimated the skill and determination of this franchise. I was wrong, Matt Flynn was right.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

"I'm called 'the poorest president,' but I don't feel poor. Poor people are those who only work to try to keep an expensive lifestyle, and always want more and more."

- Jose Mujica, former left-wing guerrilla and current President of Uruguay, known for donating 90% of his $12,000 monthly salary to charities that benefit destitute people and small business owners, and eschewing this palace for this farmhouse and this car. He's also an atheist who recently legalized marijuana. In other words he's my kinda guy.

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

Corona. It was awful. (not pictured: Corona)

Week Sixteen in Review

Let's hear it for a shitty NFC North! Special thanks to Jay Cutler and Matthew Stafford. We couldn't have done it without you guys. Jim Schwartz. I just cannot say enough about Jim Schwartz. The guy has been here through it all, and nobody (I mean NOBODY) has done more for our playoff hopes than him. His commitment to the Green Bay Packers franchise has meant the world to us. Consistently unspectacular play throughout the division has set the Packers and Bears on a collision course at Soldier Field that is sure to be packed with incompletions, missed assignments, poor clock management, and all the other trappings of mediocrity. This one is gonna hinge on a timely botched snap, I can just feel it. At the end of the day we've been gifted a chance to make the playoffs, and get to watch at least one more meaningful game of Packer football this year. I'm still excited. Here's what I liked and didn't like about that shit sandwich yesterday that was trumped only by the stinkier shit sandwiches in Detroit and Philadelphia:

What I Liked:

Eddie Lacy (again): Played through pain to record two touchdowns and 84 yards on just 15 carries. He has an uncanny ability to turn a horribly blocked play going nowhere into three or four yards. Let's face it, that's a skill you need to produce as a runner behind this line. He's a 'whatever it takes' type back that clearly loves contact. He'll bring the fight to you whether you like it or not. Nobody was stopping him from scoring on his first run, a play in which the designed running lane never appeared. He had the vision to cut it back side, the speed to get the edge, and the power to blast through a tackle to score. He's got it all.

Pass Defense: I know we gave up 38 points, and I know we gave up 104 yards to Antonio Brown, and I know we only had one sack, but I'm chalking this up as a win for the pass defense. Roethlisberger gained just 5.58 yards per passing play. That is a really low number. So low that it would have been good for 30th in the league last year among starting quarterbacks. Antonio Brown was the only player to have more than 30 receiving yards yesterday, but he's AVERAGING 99.46 yards per game. He's third in the league behind only Megatron and the seemingly unstoppable Josh Gordon (side note - Imagine if Josh Gordon played for a team that had a quarterback. He's got 1564 receiving yards in 15 games, and he plays for the Browns!). So Antonio Brown is gonna get his. The 30 yard pass on the fake punt hurt, but that's on Shawn Slocum and the special teams unit, not the secondary or the pass rush. Overall a good day for the pass defense and something to build off of.

Micah Hyde: He added another big day to his already impressive rookie campaign. He was both solid and electrifying on special teams, recording 167 yards on five kick returns, including the timely 70 yarder that the offense couldn't finish. He also fielded every punt cleanly on a day when the frozen tundra lived up to it's name. That's no simple task. Six tackles and a nice pass break-up certainly earned him some more playing time on defense next week. This is one guy that I'm very excited about, and I could see him developing into a big time player. So far he's proven to be an excellent pick by Ted Thompson.

What I Didn't Like:

Matt Flynn: I know I was calling for the front office to bring him back, and I stand by that opinion. He's clearly better than Scoots Tolzien, but that doesn't mean he's good. There are things to like about him (accuracy on short routes, rapport with certain receivers, knowledge of the offense, ability to run the no-huddle), but there are also some glaring holes in his game (inability to throw the deep ball, tendency to lock onto his first option, total lack of pocket presence, etc.). Complaining about a decent back-up is a bit like complaining that the chick you met on Craigslist has a c-section scar and a dead tooth, but he's obviously nothing more than a back-up. 5.2 yards per passing play is terrible, and 7 for 20 in the second half including a fumble and a pick six is worse. I'll be happy to keep him around going forward, but I just won't feel confident if he's forced into extended action. One or two games is great, but half a season ain't gonna work.

Run Defense: For all the hype surrounding Le'Veon Bell coming into the game yesterday, he was only averaging 3.3 yards per carry. That's not terrible, but he wasn't a back worth talking about. Naturally the Packers' defense went ahead and surrendered 4.8 yards per carry to the rookie and made him look better than he is. It was pretty clear to me that the front seven was really missing Johnny Jolly, and he ain't coming back this year. Somebody is going to have to step up and be a leader in the trenches or this season will be over real soon. CALLING B.J. RAJI!

Penalties: Nine penalties for 90 yards is too many. It's not the worst I've ever seen, but the off-sides on the field goal attempt was inexcusable. Offensive holding penalties are drive killers, and we committed six of them. You can't expect a back-up quarterback to overcome unfavorable down-and-distances.

Extra Points:

- A.J. Hawk is now just five tackles away from being the Packers' all time leader in tackles. Let's give him some credit already god dammit! All he does is show up, produce, and keep his mouth shut. We could use more players like him.

- At 1112 yards, Eddie Lacy has already set the Packers' franchise record for rushing yards by a rookie, beating out John Brockington's 1105 in 1971.

- Brandon Bostick and Johnny Jolly have been placed on injured reserve.

- The Packers have sent a player in motion ONE time in 128 total passing attempts by Matt Flynn. That's weird. A player in motion helps the quarterback determine if the coverage is man or zone before the snap, which is obviously helpful information to have. I have to wonder why they're almost completely neglecting this tactic.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

"The memory of oppressed people is one thing that cannot be taken away, and for such people, with such memories, revolt is always an inch below the surface."

- Howard Zinn

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

Four Brothers' Prodigal Son. It's a local brewery that specializes in 'blended beers,' this one happens to be an IPA blended with a cream ale. I was expecting something a bit more hoppy, but it was tasty and highly drinkable.

Week Fifteen in Review

Holy shit! Okay, I'm trying really hard to avoid the ever-present (no pun intended) quicksand of hyperbole, but I think I can honestly say that was one of the best football games I've ever seen. Down 26-3 at halftime, offense looking helpless against the league's worst defense, back-up qb under center, we put together a half of football I'm going to remember for a long time. There is so much credit to go around here that it's tough to talk about a single player's performance. Our offense scored a touchdown on every single second half possession until they were in the victory formation. The defense clamped down and made two unbelievable plays. The narrative in the media is all about the Cowboys' collapse, but the collapse never would have been were it not for some inspired football from the Pack. Huge credit to the coaching staff and the locker room leaders for keeping the team together in the face of such adversity. Oh and by the way, the Lions lost last night, so we, uh, CONTROL OUR OWN DESTINY WITH TWO GAMES TO GO! Shit just got real. Here's what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Back-up Pass Catchers: I know Nelson and Jones both had touchdowns, and Jordy made this catch, and this catch, but I gotta give props to the back ups. Jarrett Boykin and Andrew Quarless combined for 12 catches on 12 targets, 149 yards, a touchdown, six first downs, and two crucial third down conversions. That's excellent production for two guys that most fans (and I'm guessing a few coaches) never wanted to see on the field. Quarless (despite some absolutely abhorrent tattoos) seems to be developing into a legitimate receiving threat. He and Boykin both played with tremendous confidence, and it's a good sign for the future of this receiving core.

Eddie Lacy: Four catches, 21 carries, 171 total yards, and the game winning touchdown. I cannot tell you how satisfying it is to finally have a running back that can pick up the tough yards. I absolutely love this guy. He's exactly what we needed. Of course the offensive line deserves credit for opening up holes, but Lacy is flat out getting it done. He's now amassed over a thousand yards rushing and eight rushing touchdowns, and is clearly the front-runner for rookie of the year.

He really shouldn't be draggin his mink on the floor like that.

Tramon Williams: This guy has been under fire lately from seemingly every angle (including this blog), and shut the critics right the fuck up. He started the game by doing something I'm not sure he's ever done, actually embracing his responsibility to tackle. I know he's been dealing with a bum shoulder for a few years now, but I had really had it up to here with his unwillingness to take on ball carriers. He bucked that trend on Sunday and showed some toughness. Papa Charles would be proud. Then he snatches an improbable pick and returns it inside the ten yard line, only to have it snatched right back from him. So what does he do? Does he pout and lick his wounds and prepare his locker room complaints to the media? Fuck no. He goes out and makes this play to seal the most improbable victory I've seen in a long time. Papa Charles would be really proud. Congratulations on a huge game Tramon, now keep it up. Plus Sara informs me he's 'super cute,' which of course I had never noticed before.

The Whole Fucking Organization in the Second Half: I mean seriously, I could have picked damn near anyone to write about in 'What I Liked.' We made all the right play calls on offense and defense, we didn't panic or give up (I'm looking at you Dez Bryant), we made amazing catches, we blocked our asses off, we got after the QB, we were solid on special teams, the list goes on. McCarthy talks all the time about the character of his football team, and it was on full display last night. This is what football is all about.

What I Didn't Like:

Safeties: Man this position group has been a day late and a dollar short all year. If I had a nickel for every time Burnett or Jennings or Banjo or whoever was pushing someone out of bounds 30 yards downfield... They don't even tackle well! Burnett has taken a step back this year, and his rotating counterparts are just terrible. The corner play has at least been up and down, but the safeties started down and have stayed there. None of them has a pick this year. Not one pick by a safety. If that's not telling I don't know what is.

Run Defense: Demarco Murray is a good back, but fucking superman shouldn't average 7.4 yards per carry. It seemed like every time he touched the ball he was gashing us for a big gainer. That Murray is a real gash. But for real, have some pride defense. You can't let guys walk all over you like that. You have to wonder what would have happened if Jason Garrett actually let Murray touch the ball in the second half.

First Half: As beautiful as the second half was, that's how ugly the first half was. Overcoming that kind of deficit was amazing and tons of fun to watch, but we WILL NOT be able to do that again. The Steelers are too smart and too well coached and too proud to let that kind of thing happen. We're all riding high right now (as we should be), but one more half like that and it's season over. So quit fuckin around guys and just be awesome all the time. You know?

Extra Points:

- Rookie J.C. Tretter was activated from the PUP list this week and will likely suit up as an emergency O-Line backup.

- Backup MLB Jamari Lattimore apparently made an impactful speech in the locker room at halftime. That Micah Hyde missed because he had to take a dump.

- Sam Shields is as enigmatic as a player gets. He shows these occasional flashes of brilliance that make you think he might just be a hall of famer, which of course he is not.

- Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb have still not been medically cleared to play, pending examinations later on this week.

**BONUS LIST OF DOG NAMES I HATE**

1. Bentley

2. Bella

3. Remington

**BONUS LEGISLATION WE CAN ALL GET BEHIND**

The NFL (that's right, the $9 billion dollar corporate conglomerate) DOESN'T PAY CORPORATE TAXES. What the fuck? How is this possible? How did I not know about this? What an insulting example of money driving legislation. Tax these billionaire owners just like everyone else gets taxed, and build a fucking school you cock suckers.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

"Everyone's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's really an easy way: stop participating in it."

- Chomsky

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. It tasted funny. I think there might have been some soap in my glass. I was not fazed.

Week Twelve in Review

The more I think about this game, the less satisfaction I derive from it. It was a big deal to pull off the tie, we displayed some heroics in doing so, and we somehow inched a half game closer to first place. It was a fun one to watch, and I was crushing high lives just to keep from going crazy, but this just doesn't sit well with me. The Vikings are absolute shit. They really are. They have one good player on offense, holes all over their aging defense, and a mute for a coach. We really let that team waltz into Lambeau and not take a loss? It's embarrassing. With Rodgers under center we would have walked those fools on out of town in a laugher, I'm sure of it. It's just getting harder and harder to watch my team like this. It's like hanging out with your buddy who quit drinking. It's like, yea he's still cool and everything but you just don't want him around, casting glances, making sense late at night, etc. Matt Flynn's gonna get the start tomorrow at Detroit in a game that will have huge playoff implications. I get the feeling that nothing is going to come easy for either team. We're gonna need some breaks to pull this one off, but stranger things have most certainly happened. Amazingly, we still control our own destiny. Win out and we're in the playoffs. Here's what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Eddie Lacy: That was a statement game if I've ever seen one. Lacy was on a mission and was not about to be stopped. It seemed to me that he felt challenged to rise to the occasion of putting the team on his back, knowing that we had a shit quarterback under center. He made a case to be counted among the best backs in the league. The 4.4 YPC and 158 yards from scrimmage were great, but it was his ability to create yardage on his own that really impressed me. I mean, just look at this run! Or this one on fourth and one! I'm excited about this guy and cannot wait to see what he develops into. Just imagine if we could block for him.

It's almost like we should have re-signed him sooner...

Matt Flynn: Mike McCarthy said we needed a spark and I'll be god damned if Matty didn't give us one. The dude came in ice cold, down by a bunch, back in town less than a week, and does that? What a performance. Now his yards per passing play and completion percentage were nothing special, and he did fail to get us into the end zone from inside the 10 yard line twice, but that was a truly impressive showing if you ask me. He'll of course get the start tomorrow, and we're still not sure if his elbow is strong enough to be accurate down the field, but you have to be more optimistic with Flynn taking snaps than Scott 'Why the Fuck Do People Keep Saying I'm Good' Tolzien. Last time Flynn took meaningful snaps he was in Detroit, and threw for 480 yards and six touchdowns. I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin.

Clay Matthews: The guy's a fucking warrior. Nobody battles like he does. It's no wonder he's constantly getting hurt, all he does is lace 'em up and go bat shit fucking crazy for three hours. He absolutely dominated the line of scrimmage until Leslie Frazier remembered that he existed and slid help to his side every play. It was great to see Hawk, Jones, Neal, and Daniels take advantage of the one on one matchups created by the necessity to double Matthews. Clay may have only had two sacks, but he very much created the other four. He's the quintessential example of what a top tier outside pass rusher can do for a defense. In this case, he makes a bad one good.

What I Didn't Like:

this fuckin guy

Run Defense: Just embarrassing. 146 yards on 32 carries to Peterson is one thing, but 91 on eight to Toby Gerhart? He's white. And a backup. And kinda fat. He's basically John Kuhn if John Kuhn started most days with a six pack of Budweiser. I mean sure, he'd be strong and stubborn and probably pretty fun at the family Christmas party before 8:00 pm, but an eight yard per carry back? I think not. The defense looked disinterested for the most part. In defense of the defense, they were most likely gassed due to Scott Tolzien's inability to complete a forward pass to a teammate. I'll give them credit for stepping up in the fourth quarter, but you can't give too much credit considering it took three quarters to get their act together.

Tight Ends: How good does Jermichael Finley look now? Our tight ends managed just three catches on eight targets, and have been a non-factor since J-Mike went down. Finley has three times as many touchdown receptions as the rest of the tight ends combined, and he hasn't played in six weeks. An athletic tight end is a ridiculously useful weapon to have for so many reasons. If you can force a defense to contend with a big, fast receiving threat down the middle of the field, it changes the entire game, and that's not an exaggeration. Oh and by the way, tight end Andrew Quarless said after the game that he thought there'd be a second overtime if the first one ended in a tie. And he's got 'Gods Gifts' tattooed up his arms. Unless Brandon Bostick can develop into a legitimate receiving threat, tight end will be one of the most pressing positions of need in the immediate future.

Scott Tolzien: I'm not looking to pour dirt on his grave or anything, so I'll just point out the obvious. Scott Tolzien is not a viable option as the primary backup.

Extra Points:

- The Packers have reportedly offered B.J. Raji a contract in the neighborhood of $8 million per year for an undisclosed number of years (likely three or four), proving once again that I'm not qualified to analyze the performance of an interior lineman.

- The defense has combined for a total of four interceptions this year, good for last in the league. Nobody has multiple interceptions.

- The Packers will be using their fourth different starting quarterback in five games tomorrow.

- Rookie Jonathan Franklin has been placed on injured reserve, ending his season. Maybe next year he won't fumble in literally every game in which he touched the ball.

- What looked like a possible concussion towards the end of the game for Eddie Lacy was in fact an asthma attack.

- Russ Feingold was the ONLY senator to vote against the Patriot Act, a nasty piece of legislation that grossly curtails your civil liberties.

**BONUS CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE**

I hate to do this, but I gotta give a shout out to Xavier Rhodes. The rookie cornerback played one hell of a game on Sunday. He broke up four passes, at least three of them downfield, and two of them in spectacular fashion. I was honestly impressed. See? I'm totally a grown up.

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

High Life in a can. It was flowing. I had at least seven.