Week Nine in Review

Alright, let's all just take a deep breath. It doesn't do any good to freak out or throw in the towel or mope around for a week. Let's just assess the situation for what it is, and keep our fucking composure. Here's the situation: Aaron Rodgers has a small fracture in his collar bone on his non-throwing shoulder. According to Rodgers, as of Tuesday afternoon, he and team doctors 'haven't talked at all about a timetable.' **UPDATE: Mike McCarthy said in a press conference Tuesday evening that Rodgers has a fractured clavicle and the team is taking a week to week mindset on his return.** So you can essentially disregard any reports of three weeks or season ending or questionable for next week. Certainly Rodgers could be withholding information here, but we'll no doubt receive an honest and accurate timetable from McCarthy or Rodgers within a day or two. First the good news. It's his non-throwing shoulder. Even if he's forced to miss the rest of this season, his throwing motion or ability will not be affected at all going forward. Players can return rather quickly from collar bone fractures (possibly within a month) without risking further injury. The Packers' medical staff has all kinds of drugs and needles to make Aaron's boo boo feel good for a few hours. We're currently 5-3 and tied for first place in the division. The backup quarterback has been in the league for over a decade, has 21 starts under his belt, has a decent TD to INT ratio (31/19), and has some decent mobility. Now the bad news. That veteran quarterback with the decent stats and good experience looked like complete dog shit when forced into action last night. The Bears and Lions are also 5-3 right now, and the Lions are significantly healthier than the Pack. A broken collarbone could absolutely be a season-ender, in which case Packer football might not even be fun to watch. So here's my take, if Rodgers misses four games or less, we're still very much in this thing. All we would need is one win from Wallace over that stretch, which gives us a chance to finish 10-6, a mark that generally secures a spot in the postseason. If Rodgers is forced to miss more time than that, I'd say we're pretty well fucked. It's with a heavy Packer heart that I present what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Eddie Lacy: Wow. What a performance. With everyone in the stadium knowing that he'd be getting the ball, he was still able to rack up 150 yards and a score. A 56-yarder helped him finish with an average of 6.8 yards per carry. This fucker runs HARD. I wouldn't want to tackle him, and neither did the fucking Bears. God. Fuck the Bears. Bunch of assholes.

Special Teams: The blocked punt was awesome and timely. A play like that is a huge momentum shifter, and along with the running game helped give us a chance last night. Crosby was again perfect, adding to his already impressive year. Hyde averaged 25 yards on two punt returns, while his counterpart (that douche bag Hester whose too dumb to play receiver) never had a chance to break one. Masthay downed four punts inside their 20, including one tracked down at the one yard line by Davon House. We also converted a surprise onside kick. That's a really solid day on special teams, and these guys deserve some credit.

Uhhhhh, Sam Shields?: I seem to remember him having a decent enough game. Whatever fuck the Bears.

What I Didn't Like:

Wallace for MVP! Nice guns at least.

Seneca Wallace: Step it up jerk! Show some veteran savvy! Throw a pass more than four fucking yards! Are you even aware that defenders sometimes try to knock down passes at the line?! Did you all of the sudden forget how to run? 3.87 yards per passing play? Yea, that's getting it done alright. A total QBR of 7.7? Great job! We might even hand you the keys to the franchise. You are truly an inspiration. This just in: Seneca Wallace jersey sales top the list of all major US sports! You heard it here first.

Pass Rush: You know who the Bears had starting at quarterback? Josh McCown. You know how many times we sacked him? Once. We just made Josh McCown look like Peyton Fucking Manning by giving him roughly 90 minutes to decide where to throw every play. Oh sure, Gruden and whats-his-face wanted to slob all over the Bears' receivers' knobs, but they were pretty much just there. A nice catch here, decent YAC there, fine, but this was mostly about giving a shit QB all the time he needed to look serviceable. Fuck you Josh McCown, I hate you and I'm glad your career never panned out. Canton doesn't usually enshrine goofy looking fuckers with a career passer rating of 72.7.

Play Calling: Look, I get it. You're left with a bad quarterback. Everyone's all downtrodden. You don't want him to make you look bad by embarrassing himself. But god dammit you have to throw the ball downfield at some point! I mean seriously, how easy is it for an NFL defense to stop an offense that either runs the ball or throws a four yard pass on every play? How about running a bootleg? You have heard of a bootleg, haven't you? Is misdirection featured in any of the 10,000 plays you've got on that color coded sheet? Does Wallace have his own color on that sheet? Does it contain a total of four plays? Have you ever even met this guy before? You know he runs well right?

Extra Points:

- The Bears are a bunch of little bitches and if they think they are going to win anything meaningful in the near future, then they are sadly mistaken.

- After tallying 11 sacks for 58 yards in the first three games without Clay Matthews, the Packers' defense managed just one sack for 2 yards last night.

- Offensive tackle and former first round pick Derek Sherrod was activated from the Physically Unable to Perform list today, and Jermichael Finley was placed on injured reserve, ending his season.

- The Packers' emergency quarterback (Randall Cobb) was not playing yesterday, so an injury to Wallace could have made things hilarious. Why not put B.J. back there at that point?

**OK I WAS WRONG..... BUT THEN I WAS RIGHT**

I was annoyed by all the 'concern' over the backup quarterback situation during the off-season. I found it boring and less important than plenty of other issues. I was wrong. On the other hand, I suggested two weeks ago that we sign Matt Flynn after he was cut by the Raiders. Had we done that at the time, he would have had two weeks back in the offense that he already knew very well, and would have been ready to rock both last night and in the coming weeks. He is currently a free agent after being cut yesterday by the Bills, and I still think we should sign him, but he'll most likely be rusty. I would have felt a lot more confident with a re-acclimated Matt Flynn than both a cold Matt Flynn and Seneca Wallace.

**BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK**

"...we could describe (concentrated global power) as an array of mega-corporations, often linked to one another by strategic alliances, administering a global economy which is in fact a kind of corporate mercantilism tending towards oligopoly in most sectors, heavily reliant on state power to socialize risk and cost, and to subdue recalcitrant elements."

- Chomsky

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

New Glarus Moon Man. Super clean pale ale that hits the spot every time. I was this close to giving up on New Glarus, but they pulled me back in with this total classic.

Week Seven in Review

It goes without saying, but with regard to Jermichael Finley, any discussion beyond his health and well being would be completely inappropriate. He reportedly spent Sunday night in the ICU of a Green Bay area hospital, but mostly as a precautionary measure. The Packers reported that although he lost feeling and mobility in his extremities immediately following the hit, he has since regained complete mobility. He's reportedly been walking around today and is in high spirits. *UPDATE* Jermichael has tweeted a thank you to fans and encouraging words which can be read here. It's a stark reminder that football is just a game and the Packers' record really doesn't matter. It's easy to complain about players from a distance, act like we know them, call for them to get fired, insult their abilities/intelligence, and I'm guilty of it all. The fact is these guys are people first, with families of their own. So without getting too preachy I'll just say that I'm wishing Jermichael and his family the best. That being said, the game goes on, the league goes on, and life goes on, so here it goes.

Sunday's game was a good win. Cleveland sucks. I get it. But the Browns are an NFL franchise with NFL players. There is just too much talent and parity in the league to write any team off, especially when you enter a game as beat up as we did yesterday. Cleveland's defense is actually pretty good, so putting up 31 points with so many starters on the sideline was downright impressive. The defense held serve against a dogshit offense, giving up just 216 total yards. Good teams win the games they're supposed to win. Here's what I liked and what I didn't like:

What I Liked:

Eddie Lacy: This guy is a grinder. He churned out a gritty 82 yards on the ground yesterday with a game long rush of just 13 yards. Although you'd like to see at least one explosive play from the running game, it's nice to see a feature back able to average nearly four yards per carry even without it. He also tallied five catches on seven targets. Lacy wasn't drafted for his ability to catch the ball, but he's showing some aptitude for it. It's still too early to anoint him Ahman Green 2.0, but he could be the real deal.

Jarrett Boykin: Boykin was clearly featured heavily in the game plan, likely in anticipation of concentrated coverage on Jordy Nelson. He was targeted by Rodgers early and often, and he rose to the occasion. Eight catches for 103 yards and a score would be good numbers for any receiver in the history of the league, let alone a second year guy getting his first career start. Rodgers predicted this offseason that Boykin would eventually become a big time player in Green Bay, and he's off to a great start in his first meaningful opportunity.

Middle Linebackers: We entered Sunday's contest with just two healthy middle linebackers, a notoriously brutal position. Not only did Hawk and Lattimore stay healthy, they both excelled. Hawk was Hawk. He led the team in tackles (tied with Lattimore) and made his presence felt around the line of scrimmage. It was Lattimore, however, that really caught my eye. His 12 tackles matched his CAREER TOTAL coming into Sunday's game, and he recorded his first career sack. Although he's been on the roster for three seasons now, he's played almost exclusively on special teams. His successful performance in his first career start is a credit to the scouting and coaching staffs. Depth is a must in today's NFL, and we've got it.

What I Didn't Like:

McCarthy on Penalties: Mac C is a great coach. Not good, great. But I've long had questions about his clock management and penalty decisions. With over 11 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, and the Packers holding a 17-6 lead, McCarthy made yet another questionable decision to accept a penalty. The Browns fell four yards short of a first down on third down (albeit well within field goal range), but McCarthy chose to accept a five yard illegal formation penalty, thereby giving the Browns another chance to pick up the first down. Even worse, the penalty did not take the Browns out of field goal range even if they gained zero yards on their second attempt at third down. Now, the Browns threw incomplete on third down, and inexplicably attempted to convert on fourth and 15, rather than attempting a 55 yard field goal, so the decision by McCarthy worked out. Personally I don't care. That's like saying you made a good call with Jack-6 just because the flop came Jack-Jack-6. I'd love to hear McCarthy's explanation of the decision, but I'm afraid I might feel even worse after hearing it.

Penalties: Ten penalties for 97 yards? That's ugly. We're lucky we were playing the Browns, otherwise these penalties almost certainly would have hurt us.

Punting: Masthay averaged just 30 yards on three punts, managing to place just one inside the Browns' 20 yard line. I know that he had one excellent punt downed at the one wiped out by a penalty, but this was as bad a game as I've seen from him. Dismissing the importance of the punter is stupid, but Masthay is usually damn good. I'm not worried about him, I'm just saying it's something to be aware of.

Extra Points:

- The combined record of our next five opponents is 10-23. That's good.

- Jermichael Finley is consulting doctors with regard to whether he should return to football at all. That's bad.

- The Vikings quarterback situation is a complete mess. That's good.

- The United States Federal Government spends over $1 billion a day on the military, and yet roughly 4.5% of annual US deaths are attributable to poverty. That's bad.

- Slovakia, Hungary, Russia, Cuba, Kyrgyzstan, Serbia, Vietnam. A list of countries with lower death rates due to malnutrition than the United States. How about we support the troops by bringing them home to their families. And how about we use taxpayer dollars to feed starving children instead of augmenting what's already the largest and most deadly war machine in human history.

**TRAP GAME ALERT**

The Vikings looked bad, bad, bad, bad on Monday night. It's a safe bet that the entire organization is embarrassed by the performance they turned in. Their quarterback position is in flux, they just lost to a winless team, they wear purple uniforms, embarrassing. So what's there to worry about next week for the Pack? Well, we're missing several key players, the game is in Minnesota, it's a division rivalry, and the Vikings are pissed off. This is classic trap game stuff people. I'm not saying we're going to lose, I'm just saying that the Vikings will likely come out with some pepper in their gumbo. NFL players have a lot of pride.

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING**

Johnnie Walker Black Label. I had a total of about three fingers owing to a bad cold I caught from a stupid kid. WebMD says croup only affects children, but my throat says otherwise.

Week Six in Review

Well it's gut check time assholes. Once again marred by significant injuries, the Packers will have to make do with multiple back-ups starting at crucial positions on both offense and defense. Early reports on Randall Cobb have his leg injury as a broken fibula, likely to cost him six to eight weeks. James Jones has a chance to go this week, but will be listed as doubtful. If he can't go, we'll be left with just two of the wideouts who started the year on the 53 man roster. Jarrett Boykin will be fine (they've kept him around this long for a reason), but whoever lines up outside beyond Nelson and Boykin will have their work cut out for them. Nick Perry reportedly broke his foot while sacking the hilariously overpaid Joe Flacco, relegating us to our third option at weak side linebacker. Nobody knows yet how long he'll be out, but I mean, his foot is broken. I'm not doctor but I figure that ain't no good. Add to this list the injuries to Brad Jones, Bulaga, Matthews, Heyward, Starks, Sherrod, Lattimore, and Tretter, and we are one banged up group. Here's the good news, we're finally playing a tough brand of football. Oh we can still go shotgun and spread 'em out with the best of 'em, but we're actually running the fucking ball this year. We've had a 100-yard rusher in four of six games, and are averaging a fantastic 5.2 yards per carry (good for second best in the league, behind the run happy Eagles). There's been talk of more running plays upsetting Aaron Rodgers' rhythm, but I say fuck that. There's just no way a greatly improved running game can make you a worse team. While the running game has been at it, the defense has been tough as nails. Defending short fields, goal line stands, sacking the quarterback, the whole deal. Only the Jets and the Broncos are giving up fewer rushing yards per game than us, and whoever is playing the Broncos is almost immediately down by three touchdowns, so they can't very well commit to the running game anyway. If we want to keep winning games amidst all these injuries, we're going to have to go old school. That means continuing to run the ball, continuing to play great defense, and making the occasional explosive play on offense to win the close games. Kinda like what we did against Baltimore yesterday. Here's what I liked and what I didn't like:

What I Liked (All Defense Edition!):

A.J. Hawk: After seven plus seasons, and in a game where inside linebacker is about as depleted as a position group gets, A.J. Hawk finally had the kind of game you'd expect from a number five overall draft pick. Ten tackles, three sacks, and five tackles for a loss. Phenomenal stats. He got after the quarterback all game long, and made tackle after tackle in the running game. He played with a mean streak yesterday that has not often been seen from the Packers' defense lately. I'm not making any predictions about superstar play from Hawk going forward, but I was happy to see him have this kind of game. He's earned it.

If he can add a few picks to the stat sheet, I'm sayin...

Micah Hyde: Flat out, the kid hits like Charles Woodson. That's high mother fucking praise for a rookie. He wraps up players over the middle and brings them to the ground violently. He can tackle running backs, wide outs, tight ends, qbs, it doesn't matter. In addition to his seven tackles, he had one tackle for a loss, a sack, and a forced fumble. Oh and guess who stuck his nose right in there at the point of attack on the fourth down goal line stand. IT'S YA BOY! I'd have to go back and review the game to be sure, but I don't remember him getting beat on any big plays in the passing game either. Add to that his 16, 20, and 34 yard punt returns, and it's clear he had himself a damn good game. I hope he keeps getting opportunities to get on the field.

Third Down Defense: The defense held the Ravens to just 2 for 14 on third downs, making the most of five sacks and ten tackles for a loss. Amazingly, the defense did not allow a single third down conversion in the entire second half. Although the players did very well, plenty of credit should go to the defensive coaching staff. Torrey Smith, by far Baltimore's number one receiving threat going into Sunday's game, was held to just one catch for 12 yards on four targets. Tanden Doss had 99 yards receiving, but, uhhh, I'll take my chances with Tanden Doss any week. Keep up the great work Dom Capers, Joe Whitt, Kevin Greene, Winston Moss, and the rest.

What I Didn't Like:

Ball Security: The botched blocked punt by Kuhn was a boneheaded play from a typically steady veteran. It was dumb and costly, but an aberration. It was good to see Kuhn go straight to the special teams coach on the sidelines and take his lumps. Believe me, that won't happen again. What I'm worried about are the two fumbles by Rodgers. Of course the offensive line needs to bear a good chunk of this burden, but Rodgers needs to take care of that football. I hate to say it, but he reminded me a little bit of Favre the way he was just winging the ball around in the pocket. The play is a failure whether you fumble the ball or take the sack, so just take the sack if you have to, especially considering how well your defense has been playing. Rodgers also threw another uncharacteristic pick on a jump ball to Jordy. I'm not sure how many more weeks I can call throws like that 'uncharacteristic' if he continues to chuck 'em up. Rodgers has played well this year, no doubt, but I'd just like to see him take care of the football a little better.

B.J. Raji: Johnny Jolly, Jamari Lattimore, Chris Banjo, and C.J. Wilson. That's a list of players who had more tackles yesterday than B.J. Raji. It's hard to nitpick a defense that's playing so well, and particularly against the run, but where has Raji been all year? He's got seven tackles and zero sacks through five games, and just two tackles over the last three games. I love B.J.'s attitude and consider him a leader on the defense. Furthermore, a ton of what a defensive tackle does never shows up on the stat sheet. That being said, this is a contract year for the big fella, and if his first five games are an indication of the kind of year he's gonna have, I'm not sure we'll see him back in Green Bay next year.

That's nice Mason. That is niiice.

Mason Crosby: What the hell Mason? A miss from 44 yards? Nah I'm just playin' big cat. Stay keepin' your bubble pourin'.

**BONUS COMMERCIALS THAT PISSED ME OFF**

'Torque is what gets the cap off your beer!' - Ford Motor Company.

Fuck off Ford, treating me like a caveman does not make me feel inadequate enough to buy one of your trucks.

'Last year, final play, broken play, they're all broken plays...' - Rob Lowe on the 'Lowe Family Turkey Bowl'

Ahahaha. HAHAHAHA. HILARIOUS ROB LOWE! The last play was a broken play? So your son ran a ten yard puma instead of that twenty yard post you've been setting up since the first quarter? No doubt you'll clean that up at the 'Lowe Family Christmas Film Review Session.' Why do I love football? That's what you're asking me NFL? Because it's awesome, not because Rob fucking Lowe got choked up at the perfect moment while pissing on my leg and telling me it's raining. I already love your product, no matter how hard you try to ruin it, so just shut up about it and take my money.

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING?**

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. The beer for all occasions. Maybe one of these weeks I'll drink something other than beer, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.

Week Five in Review

If this was a Detroit Lions blog, I'd be writing today about how Jim Schwartz's tenure has run it's course. He brought the Lions back to relevancy, gave them an edge, and got them to the playoffs. It's become clear now, though, that he cannot take them any further. He lacks the maturity to handle success and cannot control his own team. Since, however, this is a Packers blog, I'll just say that the immature Lions are always welcome here in Wisconsin, and I'd like to thank them for their continued ineptitude. Dominic Raiola (you know, the most tenured player on the Lions' team, vocal leader on the offensive line, steadying veteran presence) was reportedly hurling obscenities at the UW marching band that performed during the game. This consummate professional was reported by numerous sources to have called a young man in the band a 'fat fuck,' 'fucking faggot,' and more. He also reportedly called a female band member a 'cunt.' But the crowning achievement of this tirade has to have been when he told a trumpeter that he was going to, 'take his trumpet and shove it up his sister's pussy.' Hilarious? Of course. Indicative of the leadership and maturity of the Lions? Indeed. The Lions are losers, and will continue to be until they learn to act like professionals. They could take a lesson or two from the Packers, both on and off the field. In the mean time I'll just continue to enjoy our annual beatings, each one more hilarious than the last. Here's what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Raiola was apparently too busy to block.

Pass Defense: The Packers yielded just 4.9 yards per passing play to the normally potent Lions offense (yards ppp is a stat that I really like, one that I feel accurately reflects the efficiency of a passing game). This was a function of four main factors: an active pass rush, execution of assignments in the secondary, field position, and the absence of Calvin Johnson. Johnson is the best wideout in the league, and his inability to play made the secondary's job a lot easier. That being said, I would guess that most, if not all of the starters in the secondary received a plus grade for the game. The Lions never had a play go for more than 25 yards, which shows that the secondary was assignment sure, likely influenced by the return of the steady Morgan Burnett. Four different linebackers combined for five sacks, finally getting pressure from players not named Clay Matthews. The Lions' average starting field position was from inside their own 19 yard line, and they never started a drive beyond their own 20. That's spectacular production from the special teams units. A good job all around I'd say.

The Running Game: We finally got an extended look at the bruising stylings of Eddie Lacy, and I like what I saw. He averaged a solid 4.3 yards per carry, and did a nice job of falling forward after contact. He also picked up a first down on a simple run off the left tackle on third and three, something I've been waiting like five years to see. Let's hope that continues. Cobb had 72 yards on two carries, which forces future opponents to spend time game planning for Cobb as a weapon out of the backfield. We ended the day with a total of 180 yards on the ground, which not only kept drives going for us, but also helped keep Aaron Rodgers upright by slowing down the pass rush.

Third Down Conversions: I said our offensive efficiency had to improve, and it did. 7 for 16 is a very good day on third down. It's just so important to convert third downs (keeps drives going, wears down the defense, chews up clock, etc.), so I'm not going to stop bringing this up. The best teams in the league convert their third downs, and get off the field on their opponents' third downs.

What I Didn't Like:

Jonathan Franklin: The rookie saw just three carries today because of an early fumble. That's two fumbles in his first two games as a professional. Ball security issues were the one knock against him coming out of UCLA, and have so far persisted. I know I keep saying it, but you can't put the ball on the ground if you want to play running back for the Green Bay Packers.

Red Zone Offense: The Packers were unable to come away with a touchdown on either of their two red zone possessions, though they did tally field goals both times. Although I don't necessarily buy into the importance of success within an arbitrarily placed line, our inability to score on a short field is becoming a bit of a pattern. The possible emergence of Eddie Lacy as a tough runner between the tackles could be a big help in these situations.

Injuries: I'm not advocating a mid-season training staff overhaul, but I am advocating some immediate self-scouting and a hard off-season look at training procedures with regard to injury prevention. We lost three linebackers to injury during Sunday's tilt, including starters Brad Jones and Clay Matthews. Jones' injury appears to be insignificant at this point, but Matthews has already undergone surgery to repair his broken thumb, and will miss at least a month. Even when Matthews does return following the removal of a series of pins from his thumb, he'll likely need to wear a club cast, which will no doubt make him less effective. This injury shit is fucked up, and it's been going on for years. One season marred by injury? Could be a fluke. Two seasons? Bad luck. Four straight seasons? Time for some introspection.

Extra Points:

- Matt Flynn was released by the Raiders yesterday. I'd sure like to see him back in Green Bay, and he could be had for the veteran minimum I'm sure after a failed foray into the world of starting NFL qb.

- Where has John Kuhn been this year? I know he's been a little nicked up, but he's not even seeing the field when he's healthy.

- Jermichael Finley has been an absolute beast after the catch this year.

- I like Matthew Stafford as a player and a person. He's tough as nails and plays the position well. If you ask me, he's got more than a little Favre in him.

**BONUS POLITICAL STATEMENT OF THE WEEK**

The endgame of capitalism is a global catastrophe the magnitude of which has rarely, if ever been seen on the human scale.

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING THIS WEEK?**

Left Hand Brewing Company's Sawtooth Ale. I meant to buy a German Helles, but panicked at the liquor store and reverted to my default setting of 'anything bitter.' Anyway I've made worse mistakes.

Week Three in Review

The week one loss to the 49ers I understood, but this one has me a little concerned. The way I see it, we played a bad game, lost to an average team, and are now two games out of the division lead just three weeks into the season. It's far from panic time, but there are some things that we need to get right, or the season could get away from us quickly. We didn't protect Rodgers as well as we should have, but he didn't exactly look sharp out there himself. It was without a doubt one of the worst performances of his career. I liked a lot of what I saw from the defense, specifically the defensive line, but there's only so much a defense can do. We've got a bye this week, which gives our already nicked up players a chance to get healthy. It's time to go on a run and I believe we'll do just that. Here's what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Adversity Defense: When your offense plays like shit, it puts added pressure on your defense. Not only does the defense need to hold the opposing offense to a lower point total to win, but they are also put in difficult situations as a result of turnovers. This was definitely the case yesterday, with four turnovers by the Packers putting the defense in tough spot after tough spot. I absolutely loved the way the entire defense rose to the occasion and kept the Packers in the game from start to finish. Yes we gave up 34 points, but there was a stretch of seven drives starting with 6:43 to go in the first quarter during which the Bengals gained just 75 total yards, and picked up just three first downs. The results of those seven drives went as follows: punt, interception, fumble, fumble, fumble, punt, punt. That is some solid defense.

Production From the Running Game: Packers running backs gained an average of 5.9 yards per carry on 27 total carries. That's good production in terms of attempts, and fantastic production in terms of YPC. Not only does running the ball effectively help keep the offense in favorable down and distances, it also helps to set up the passing game. Although the offense was unable to take full advantage of such good balance yesterday, running the ball this well will pay dividends, I'm sure of it. Consider that we ran the ball this well with our top running back on the sidelines, and there's certainly reason for optimism.

Clay Matthews: The human fucking wrecking ball that is Clay Matthews III tallied a sack and two forced fumbles in just over half of a game. For all the talk about his pass rushing skills (skills that are robust, to be sure), he may play the run just as well. His ability to recognize a hand-off the moment it happens, adjust his path down the line of scrimmage, and attack the ball carrier is second to none. It's not so much that he's aggressive about stripping the ball, it's just that he tackles with such violence that the runner collapses and simply can't hold on to the ball. He's an exciting player and his importance to our team can't be overstated. Let's hope his recurring hamstring injury benefits from the bye week.

What I Didn't Like:

Turnovers: What the fuck was that shit? Four turnovers? Two picks? That second pick that Rodgers threw was just awful and proved costly. Sometimes I get the impression that Rodgers can be frustrated to the point of inefficiency. His body language made it seem like he thought certain plays were doomed to fail before the ball was even snapped. The Ross fumble was bad, and yet McCarthy stuck with him on both kick and punt returns. I HATE it when coaches neglect to use their best return man because they're 'too important to the offense/defense.' Randall Cobb should be returning any and every kick, and I will not back down on this point. If you think he shouldn't risk an injury on a return because he's too important to the offense, then you're a pussy. If you want your team to play scared, then do us all a favor and move to Minnesota. Franklin's fumble was immensely disappointing. He negated an otherwise electrifying NFL debut with one bad play. You can't put the ball on the ground if you want to play running back for the Green Bay Packers.

Play Calling Creativity: Coach McCarthy preaches 'less volume, more creativity' when it comes to play calling, but he displayed less of both yesterday. Of course play calling is not the only reason that Aaron Rodgers posted the 5th worst passer rating of his career, but it was certainly a factor. Passing opportunities downfield were few and far between, so the offense began to rely heavily on shorter routes, specifically calling flare route after flare route after flare route. We had some success for a few drives using the strategy, but NFL defensive coordinators are not stupid, especially defensive coordinators with 34 years of experience. We went to the well too many times, attempting flare routes on the final third and fourth down plays. Both passes were knocked down at the line of scrimmage by linemen who had seen the play several times before, and would have been contested by defensive backs who had seen the play several times before. Add in the vanilla half back slam on the fourth down fumble play, and it's clear that McCarthy did not have his best day on the headset.

3rd Down Efficiency: 4 for 13. Not good enough.

Extra Points:

- I loved seeing BJ Raji break up the quick confrontation between Rodgers and McCarthy on the sidelines. Rodgers has pointed to Raji as a leader off the field, and it was on display yesterday.

- Datone Jones again failed to record a single tackle, though he did block an extra point.

- The Packers haven't beaten the Bengals in 15 years.

**BONUS CONSPIRACY THEORY**

I think the NFL is pumping fake sound effects in between plays, specifically defensive adjustments and audible calls. They all sounded so formulaic, I swear they just borrowed the soundtrack from Madden 2012.

**WHAT WAS I DRINKING THIS WEEK?**

New Glarus Wild Sour Ale. It's a sour brown ale from their thumbprint series. I give it a hearty thumbs up, and I'm a stickler about sours.

Week Two in Review

An emphatic response to a disappointing week one road loss. The offense looked nearly unstoppable once they got into a groove, and there was no shortage of playmakers. The defense looked sharp to start out, although I think a good deal of our early success on that side of the ball was due to ineptitude on the part of Washington. Special teams units went unnoticed, which means they did well enough. Here’s what I liked and didn’t like:

What I Liked:

Aaron Rodgers: Look, I’m not going to include him every week because that would be boring and easy, but how about this guy? Completes over 80 percent of his passes, averages 9.6 yards per passing play, throws four touchdowns to three different receivers, and commits zero turnovers. Again, I won’t pour over his sparkling stat line every week, but I just had to include him again this week so that we (I) don’t start taking him for granted. He’s the best in the league.

Starting Wideout TRIO: So James Jones is back in the mix, proving yet again that the Packers realistically feature three starting wideouts. The guy had over 150 yards receiving IN THE FIRST HALF yesterday, which is ridiculous. He and Rodgers could easily have set records if we weren’t such a classy organization and decided to run up the score like the loathsome Patriots. Cobb and Nelson were back with a combined 194 yards and three touchdowns, no doubt striking fear in the hearts of defensive coordinators around the league. Did you see Jim Haslett’s face from the coach’s booth yesterday? He looked like he was getting a colonoscopy.

Run Blocking: Don't get me wrong, James Starks had himself a very good game and deserves some credit, but my game ball goes to the guards and center for the gaping holes they opened up for Starks to run through. Mike McCarthy has stated many times that the majority of running plays in his offense are designed to gain 4.6 yards. Any back in the league could have averaged that much yardage per play with the way our offensive line was pushing around Washington’s front seven. Again, credit to Starks for his creativity and effort at the second level, but the running game starts with blocking and the O-line blocked their asses off.

What I Didn’t Like:

Pass Rush: Once again, the Packers were unable to generate consistent pressure on the opposing quarterback. Believe me, this is a problem. The defense tallied just one sack and three quarterback hits, the sack coming on a broken play for Washington and from a blitzing corner by the Packers. Griffin was rushed on a decent number of plays, but we had to rush five or six defenders to get that done. Add to that the fact that we held a lead throughout the entire game, knowing the Redskins had to pass, and the lack of pressure becomes even more glaring. I’m starting to think that Thompson just doesn’t have an eye for pass rushing talent. Stay tuned on this one.

Pass Protection: Four sacks are not an outrageous number, but consider this stat (courtesy of the Pollyanna that manages the ESPN NFC North Blog, whose job I should have): Rodgers got the ball out in 2.5 seconds or less on 33 of 46 drop-backs. Translation, Rodgers relied heavily on quick passes (slants, bubble screens, hitches, etc.) in an attempt to limit the defense’s ability to put pressure on him, and yet he still suffered four sacks and six hits. First and goal from the nine yard line on the first drive of the game became third and goal from the 24 as a result of two straight sacks. Credit the coaching staff for adjusting the game plan to limit pressure, but god dammit, protect the fucking quarterback. He IS our team.

Jonathan Franklin: Is this guy really so bad in practice that he couldn’t earn a single snap even after Eddie Lacy was knocked out on the first run of the game? I understand that Starks was playing very well, but how about a screen or a draw or even a blocking assignment just to get the rookie’s feet wet? I have to blame the coaching staff here, especially considering the fact that we led 31-0 halfway through the third quarter. If he’s good enough to suit up for a game, then he’s good enough to play AT LEAST one snap in a blowout victory.

Extra Points:

-         the streak of consecutive games without a 100 yard rusher is over, so now we can get back to discussing stats that actually matter

-          Eddie Lacy suffered a concussion, which could sideline him for next week’s game against the Bengals

-          the Packers’ bye comes in week four this year, which is good in that it gives our ailing d-backs an extra week to recover, and bad in that we won’t have that week of rest later in the season, when it’s more important

-          Mike Daniels was my unsung hero of the game, since he’s barely featured on the stat sheet, but seemed to be involved in a ton of plays near the line of scrimmage

Week One in Review

So we lost by one score on the road against the defending NFC champions. In the words of Mike McCarthy, 'we're nobody's underdog,' but we could have done a lot worse in terms of week one losses. The offense was consistent and efficient, scoring one touchdown in each quarter. The defense was porous and eventually insufficient, but gamely defended a short field more than once. It's hard to blame an offense that scored 28 points while their defense gave up over 500 yards, but turnovers were the difference in this game. Eddie Lacy's debut was a clunker that featured 2.9 yards per carry and a costly fumble, and yet he was the only true halfback to get a carry. The secondary suffered in the absence of starters Casey Heyward and Morgan Burnett, but the front seven offered little help in the way of pressure on the quarterback. The defensive line remains inept at collapsing the pocket, and recent first round picks Datone Jones and Nick Perry were all but absent from the stat sheet. Johnny Jolly was fun in his return from a ridiculous three year hiatus, making an impact both on the field as a disruption in the backfield, and on the sidelines as a vocal and animated leader. He was the only veteran even-tempered enough to break up the scuffle following Clay Matthews' late hit on Kaepernick. Thank god Roger Goodell had the wherewithal to suspend this OBVIOUSLY dangerous individual from the league for so long. Anyway here's what I liked and didn't like:

What I Liked:

Aaron Rodgers: The guy is good. His one pick was a perfectly placed pass to an open receiver. He managed 8.7 net yards per passing play, which would have been a full yard better than last year's best mark, set by a fella by the name of Colin Kaepernick, who posted a 7.7 net yards ppp in a modest 218 attempts.  He's cool, calm, and collected and will be dominant all year, just like he always is. 

Starting Wideout Tandem: Cobb and Nelson both had seven catches, both had over 100 yards, and both scored a touchdown. Cobb showed some fucking toughness, and there's no other way to put it. The only negative word I've ever heard uttered by the coaching staff about Randall Cobb is that he was skipping ahead in the playbook on his personal time, trying to learn plays that were not yet being installed. Combine that brain with an ability to catch the ball in traffic and gain yards after the catch, and you've got yourself a pretty decent player. Nelson looked 100% healthy following what appears to have been a good decision to operate on a lingering leg issue during the preseason. He executed both the mundane (in running and catching a simple slant in the end zone for a score) and the spectacular (in hauling in a circus catch on the sideline for 37 yards). He's the total package, and combined with Cobb makes Greg Jinnengs (sp?) a distant memory.

(default hilarious picture earned by mentioning Raji)

Run Defense: Yes, we gave up over 500 yards of offense (again), but we held the hard-nosed 49ers to a paltry 2.6 yards per attempt on 34 carries. Frank Gore has averaged 4.6 yards per carry in his career, but managed just 44 yards on 21 carries this afternoon. B.J. Raji stuck his nose in on more than a few plays at the line of scrimmage, and the linebackers did a nice job of swarming the ball carrier before he could reach the second level. Stopping the run is job number one for any NFL defense, and it gives us a decent foundation to build off of in the weeks to come.

What I Didn’t Like:

Third Down Defense: Although the numbers aren't as ghastly as I expected, the Packers' defense was not exactly stout on third downs. The Niners converted exactly half of their 18 third down opportunities, which would have been good for tops in the league in 2012, edging the Patriots who converted 48.43% of their third down tries. The Packers were missing two of their four starters in the secondary, including the quarterback of the defense, safety Morgan Burnett. It's comforting to make excuses, but the reality is that no team finishes or even enters a season completely healthy on either side of the ball. Injuries are a fact of life in the NFL, and if your back-ups can't get the job done, you're in trouble. Let's hope we can get healthy in the secondary and stop giving up huge chunks of yards. The good news is that next week's matchup pits the Packers' secondary against Pierre Garcon and Josh Morgan, a duo of receivers that have never managed more than four touchdowns in a season.

An inauspicious start for the highly touted Lacy.

Turnovers: Blame it on whoever you want (I choose Jermichael Finley), but a pick is a pick. Any one score game comes down to turnover differential, and we lost today. The rookie Eddie Lacy lost a 2^nd quarter fumble, and was promptly escorted to the bench in favor of Jimmy Starks. I agree with the decision to bench him for a quarter, I'm disappointed that he lost a fumble in his debut performance, and I'm confident he'll learn from the mistake. The good news HERE is that on the very next offensive play following Finley's bobbled interception, Rodgers found Jermichael for a solid gain. It was probably the first time that I was glad Rodgers reminded me of Favre.

Josh Sitton: For all the talk surrounding David Bakhtiari's maiden voyage at the ultra-important left tackle position, it was Josh Sitton that was left holding the bag on the offensive line. He was flagged three times for holding, wiping out the Packers' two best runs of the day. This guy is supposed to be our best lineman, not the guy getting flagged left and right. The good news here is that he has beautiful curly brown locks and a jovial disposition.

Overreact if you must, but this is a minor setback. San Francisco is a good football team, and if nothing else, we showed today that they won’t roll over us if we see them in January. There’s work to be done in the running game and on defense to be sure, but we put a lot of good things on film today. Reacting to a loss has never been an issue for the Packers under Mike McCarthy, and I’m confident we’ll respond emphatically next week. I do know this much, championship teams don’t lose two games in a row to start a season.

Extra Points:

- I already miss Charles Woodson. Not that I think he would have made a huge difference today, it's just that I really loved watching him play for the Packers, and I'll never have the privilege of enjoying that again.

- Jim Harbaugh is a douche bag.

- I can't say enough about how happy I am to see Johnny Jolly back on the field. Sincere congratulations to him on a remarkable journey back to the NFL.

- I've always liked Anquan Boldin.

- I promise to never, and I mean N-E-V-E-R never include any details about any of my fantasy football teams in a blog post. You don't care, and I respect that about you.